Where’s my card?

I posted this link earlier today on my Facebook page. It was a story in the Kansas City Star about how more cancer patients are using humor to deal with their disease, and how cancer-related humor has become more acceptable in books, movies, blogs, and even t-shirts and greeting cards.

It turns out that Hallmark makes funny cards for cancer patients. I had no idea. The article shows some examples of these cards. They are all geared toward patients who are going through chemo, who are bald, or who are “100-percent cancer-free.” Don’t get me wrong: These people deserve cards. Actually, they deserve far more than cards. They deserve medals and ticker-tape parades through town. And cake. Lots and lots of cake. For the rest of their lives.

But what about the rest of us cancer patients — OK, the teeny, tiny niche market of cancer patients — who haven’t gone bald or gone through chemo and probably will never be 100-percent cancer-free? What about the delaying-a-transplant myeloma folks?  I’d love to get a card that says, “Here’s something to brighten your day, since you’ll spend all of it waiting at home for the FedEx guy to deliver your Revlimid!” or “Happy five-year anniversary of your stem-cell transplant!” Maybe something along the lines of, “I promise not to look at you with a horrified expression when you say you’re not in remission!” or a cheery note to say, “I like you enough to know that your disease is called myeloma, not melanoma!” And, last but not least, “Congratulations on your negative pregnancy test! Love, The Celgene Corporation.”

Some of these could use a little revising, but I think they’d work.