Well this isn’t so much a myeloma based post as a ‘What a week!’ post. I thought I’d try and get it down as I think it’s another example of how we’ve got stronger as a family and so able to cope with most things.
So we’ve just finished possibly the worst Easter break we’ve had! It all started off with a visit to my father who is struggling with dementia. And as anyone out there will know who has family members in the same position, it isn’t an easy scenario. One minute he is happy about the decisions that we make with him, and the next he thinks we’re interfering and trying to make his life harder. I’ve been on the ‘Dementia Friends’ course which I found really useful, so I now know how I should be responding….but actually managing to be the grown up in it all is posing more of a difficulty for me, and I’m finding myself arguing with him more than ever.
I think it is partially because that was how I grew up with him….lots of arguments and truth telling between us, and partially because of everything else that is going on in our life which means I’m pretty tired, grumpy and a little anxious at the moment!
Anyway, after some tears, shouting and frustration, with the kids and Marley (our dog) giving me lots of love and support, we sorted things out a bit. But just before I left, I had realised that dad had been sick the week before but not told anyone and it needed clearing. Not a problem. On went the gloves and it was sorted and the children and I left. I had a visit to make before we were due to go and visit old friends in High Wycombe where we used to live.
So, off we went to Wantage, down the road from my dad. I went for my appointment and left the kids in the car looking after the dog. Surprise, surprise, as all kids seem to have the knack of doing even at 14, suddenly they were both in the building for a toilet break. Ok. Well it would have been if on their way out, Rebecca hadn’t decided to try hurdling a tall iron railing fence, getting her foot caught in it and not being able to get it out! 20 minutes later, the fire engine arrived when we couldn’t remove it, she ended up high on gas and air and we had to get her to hospital! No visit to Wycombe. Luckily Nick had just flown in from Dublin as I had to drive Bex home from Oxford as the hospital wouldn’t see her for 3 hours and I couldn’t leave Sam in the car with the dog for that length of time. So West Midlands it was and Nick met us to take Sam and the dog home.
So after having arrived home just before midnight on the Tuesday, with her in a boot with a supposed broken ankle (now turns out to just be a nasty sprain), we spent the day recovering – Nick had gone to London for work. But around 5pm Sam started telling me he felt ill.
Around this time, I also got an email from my consultant saying that my figures had gone up again and that it was definitely time to admit I was out of remission and to discuss starting treatment. So a bottle of wine got opened and a couple of glasses drunk.
Bad mother who had been accusing Sam of eating too much chocolate then realised how bad she was when he projectile vomited down the toilet! Oh god. And then on the carpet! And within 20 minutes of this, I was also feeling bad – not long after I was joining him with the vomiting and we proceeded to take it in turns all night long. It turns out sickness can be quite a bonding experience (!) By the middle of the night, I was texting Nick saying he needed to get the first train back to us as I couldn’t cope (I’m not sure he’s heard me admit that before). And a good job too, as by 9am, Rebecca was also throwing up!
If you’re still with me at this stage, you’ll be pleased to hear this is pretty much where it all ends. I don’t think you could have written this. It was all so gutting as we’d planned visitors for the Thursday, Good Friday celebrations with Nicks family, and it was my Brother in Law’s 60th on the Saturday, all of which we had to miss as we were too poorly to get there. Luckily we made it down for my niece’s 21st on the Sunday although the kids still weren’t on great form!
So much for making ‘good’ memories – although there’s no doubting that we’ve definitely made memories this Easter!