What an Insane Roller Coaster Life This Is

Hello 8.29.19

I cannot believe it’s the end of August, and I almost forgot to post today, which is so unlike me . I also can’t believe how time has slipped by so fast and I never updated my past post… but yet again,, if I had shared everything that has gone on before and since my last post… you’d get why I wasn’t able to finish that post, or even write my update now.

And even trying to do this now, I have a blazing headache, and I’m more exhausted than I’ve been in forever, still slightly nauseated from Monday’s Dex, Velcade, Cytoxan, and I still have to postpone a detailed update because I’m so exhausted from all the fast track insanity that’s gone on in my life in the last month!

Well that quote is not entirely true, lol, but close. Actually, I’m too actively involved in my life, because so much is going on! There are times I just need to stop and “just be a cancer patient”, but my life doesn’t give me that chance!

So here’s the headlines of what I wanted to write about, and may eventually be able to!

1- Earlier this month, I actually took the risk and flew to Hawaii for my son’s surprise Engagement. What convinced me to go, was his heartfelt comment… “Mom, you’re the “only” parent “left”
2- I don’t fly because of my terribly compromised immune system, so this was a HUGE RISK FOR ME
3- This was an Epic Surprise for his girlfriend/fiancee as both her parents have passed…, truly a once in a lifetime event to do this… so I mustered my fears and cautions and went… and so far… knock on wood as they say,… I’m still ok. Don’t feel great, but I don’t think I’m sick. Just exhausted and “chemo crash sick”
4- Prior to that, and I really hadn’t shared with anyone, local, personal, or public… we moved my husband to a Memory Care facility
5- I picked “The Best”, 5 star place for him, we moved him in mid July, and it’s been the craziest adventure ever since
6- I visited him almost every day, except on my worst chemo crash days
7- Visiting him every day sure gave me a deep insight into those suffering, and I mean SUFFERING from Alzheimer’s, Dementia, etc
6- I actually began to feel like a “resident” myself,… super weird, sad, awful, experience
7- Lived with “illness” on so many levels, every day
8- Really felt the difference between what it means to BATTLE Cancer vs SUFFER from a Brain Disease
9- As I’ve mentioned before, as awful as Cancer is, I’ll take it over a Brain Disease
10- Moved my husband OUT of this Memory Care place this past Friday night
11- Hired caregivers at home for 7 days, 12 hour shifts
12- I’m so beat up mentally and physically, I can’t even begin to describe all the detail…
13- But as always, I remain so very grateful on so many levels…
14- Soon I will catch up, and really share all this insanity with all of you… if you want to hear the full stories…