“Well, I don’t have it with me, but…”

After standing in line for a while at COSTCO, a man hefted his sole purchase, a 50 lb bag of dog food onto the checkout counter. A woman behind him tapped his shoulder and asked “Do you have a dog?”

The man did a double take and then said “Uh, no. I’m actually on the Purina Diet. It cost me a trip to the hospital, but I have lost a lot of weight. I just carry the nuggests in my pockets, snacking on one when I get hungry.”

“Oh,” she said. “I guess it’s not such a good diet then.”

“No,” he replied. “It’s great. But the other day I stepped off the curb to sniff a poodle’s butt and got hit by a bus.”