Walking a Fine Line

Dealing with a person that has a critical illness is like walking on a fine line. Sometimes it’s very hard to know when to step in and take charge or let the patient make the call. I’ve experienced at least three occasions where I trumped my husband’s decision about going to the hospital. I wanted him to go, he didn’t want to go. I won.

But the past week Mr B has not been doing very well physically or emotionally. We were really hoping for an improvement in his condition because the doctor stopped his chemo treatments for 3 weeks to give his body a rest. We were very hopeful that the rest would improve his nausea/vomiting/dry heaves. Unfortunately it has just gotten worse instead of getting better. I’ve also seen a deterioration of his general health this past week. He spends a lot of time in bed and isn’t eating or drinking very much. I’ve also insisted that he start using his walker in the condo because he seems so unsteady on his feet. I’m afraid that I will need to pull rank again and take him to the hospital. We’ve talked about it several times over the past few days and he keeps saying he wants to wait a few more days to see if he improves. I’m not sure we have the luxury of waiting very much longer.
I’m scared. The other night Mr. B told me that he was scared. We both are scared. Tonight we held each other and cried. We do that a lot these days. How can someone go downhill so quickly? It doesn’t seem fair.