What I’ve got you’ve got to get it put it in you. Reeling with the feeling. Don’t stop. Continue
Give it away – Red Hot Chili Peppers
No-one can really understand what myeloma is like unless they have it. But some of those near me now have a pretty good idea. Sorry about that – one piece of insight we could all do without. So here’s an unmitigated good news story.
Since I broke my back I have become increasingly debilitated. It was at its worst when I was in the midst of treatment – full of tumours and chemicals. But even as things have calmed down considerably, I’m left with difficulty standing straight, pain if I stand up for any significant period of time and problems sleeping. I’m also still getting through quite a lot of painkillers (oxycodone these days, a synthetic opiate, and a controlled drug.) Much of this is due to the many fractured vertebrae in the middle section of my spine.
Tonight it feels like I’ve been released from one of my cages. I’ve had vertebroplasty on my spine today – acrylic cement to fill in some of the worst holes and (hopefully) alleviate some of the pain. It’s done as key hole surgery. I spent only one night in hospital and was able to come home the same day as the operation. Amazing. I can’t say how grateful I am for the awesome things modern medicine can do. And for the NHS, which does them all for me.
It struck me this morning quite how much I had invested in today. How down I would feel if nothing had changed tonight, or not enough. How I’d feel if I thought that it was never going to be better than this. But the good news is that, right now, I feel like I’ve got something back that I didn’t know I’d get, and I can believe that I really can be fit and healthy again.
I read something online which suggested that the benefits of vertebraplasty might all just be a placebo effect. I don’t think that’s true, but even if it is, I’ll settle for that.