The Perfect Cup Of Tea

The perfect cup of tea is made with boiling water, a strong English breakfast tea bag, left to infuse for at least three minutes, which is then battered by a spoon and removed, before adding full fat milk to taste. The tea is then drunk at a leisurely pace, occasionally inhaling the warm vapour as you lift the cup towards your lips. The perfect cup of brew is drunk safe in the knowledge that it will not be making a reappearance, within five minutes, from my anus.

Similarly, water tastes best when it is ice cold, served in a heavy based glass tumbler and not when proceeded by vomit and oramorph.

One day, one day, I will be able to experience these again. I do not aspire to much.