Yesterday was opening day for softball season. If ever there was proof that, as a mom, you are only as happy as your saddest kid. Having your kids in high school sports drills that home. Last year was a disaster of a season. Too long to explain. Suffice to say, we have a softball coach who is a bully, that parents have been trying to oust since he started 6 seasons ago. He has decimated our program because of girls who quit and won’t play for him, as well as parents who won’t let their kids play for him. Well, after 8 years of Tim and I coaching the recreation softball league, and knowing these girls and their families, I was not having it. Tim and I stepped up, in a big way. His behavior had crossed the line in ways that he stood the risk of not only losing his coaching job, but also his job as a phys. ed. teacher in our school. He was put on notice, by the principal of the school and the athletic director, that he was not going to get away with it anymore. And, he subsequently took it out on our kid, who had been the best player on her team the previous 2 years in high school, and now, she sat the bench most of the season, despite having gone nearly 30 straight games without a single strike out. We all knew, the kids, the other parents, all of us, that he was retaliating for the trouble her parents caused for him. This year, well, it started off differently. Most of our girls are struggling to bat, and striking out like crazy. Not my kid. Played in 8 straight scrimmage games, has about 20 at-bats and only 2 strikeouts. I put a whiffle ball bat in her hands at 3 years old, taught her to bat righty and lefty, and the kid now has a highly developed hand-eye coordination, something that made her a successful starting pitcher for 8 seasons. But, they blew her arm out the 1st 2 years of high school. Took all the talented players up to varsity and left my kid to pitch with no relief pitcher and no fielding behind her. I took her off the mound after 2 seasons of this. I am not winding up with my kid needing shoulder surgery because they have no concern for her health. (last year’s varsity pitcher needs surgery and the previous one still has tendonitis issues, and Liv already has a “click” in her shoulder whenever she throws hard now that she never had before those 2 seasons) So, anyhoo, he realized he was cutting off his nose to spite his face if he doesn’t use my kid. He made her designated hitter in our opening day game and she did great. We won, only the 2nd opening day game we’ve won in the 6 years he’s been coaching. My kid loves batting, and she is hot stuff out there compared to the other gals, so it’s a big feeling of pride for her. What this does for Tim and I, well, if you have kids in sports, you know. When she got home, she told us that this coach had actually complimented her quite profusely on her batting skills. So, I hope this continues. I am holding my breath that her senior year season is better than last year. I hope and I pray. This guy had a baby last summer. We are all hoping it has softened him somewhat. We have a great group of girls who all get along, a rarity, for sure, and I hope her softball career ends on a high note.
Then, it’s graduation and in September, my kid will be off to college and it will be time for me to carve out a life for myself to stave off a serious depression. What to do. I would like to work. I am not sure if I have the stamina for a full time position right off. And, I don’t want to give up running the MM support group, which is only one morning a month, but SO important to me. I’ve been checking ads for things in real estate and clerical type office jobs. We’ll see, but, gosh, this is going to be some new concept for sure. My life has been totally fixated on taking care of a kid and my husband. Now, I really have to start taking care of me and find some passion for my own self. I hardly know where to begin to do that. I have to find something though. I have had stints with the blues from way too much alone time, and Liv being away could really ramp that up.
It will be a whole new world, one I hope I can find my place in. Right now, all I can think about is how much I am going to miss that kid, and how much Tim and I are going to hate not witnessing all the new and exciting things that will be going on in her life. This letting go business is HARD, so unimaginably HARD.