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I don’t know who reads this, but if you do & know the answer to my question(s), please respond.

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Any ideas what is going on? (I am putting all these on my SPAM list in the meantime.)

Catch Up! It’s Been Ages!

My goodness, it’s been five months since I’ve written, and then it was about politics! Egads! What’s wrong with me? Politics are about as lethal as MM! At least in the past three years! lol

It’s amazing that the last time I was on any treatment for MM was in October 2007. I was on Revlimid and Dexamethasone. It’s been so long that I’ve even forgotten the dosage and schedule. My “numbers” (e.g. IGG serum, & other markers) have remained in the normal range…except there’s one that’s high…but it’s not one that really matters.

My main problem now is the spinal cord damage at my T8. I’ve written about it, so you can look through my entries if you need to hear about it. One day I may just clean this blog up. It’s not organized according to topic.

I saw my oncologist about a month ago. He told me that the regimen today is that once you gain a partial remission (or a ‘very good partial remission’) like I have, “they” keep you on Revlimid….I guess to keep things in check. Since I’ve been off of it for so long, he’s going to leave me alone.

Remember:I changed doctors at one time. Before I returned back to my original oncologist, I had transferred doctors and stuck with my SCT doctors.

I was a little jarred the other day when I found out a lady I befriended in about 2007 or 2008, her MM has returned. It was returning when we lost touch. I heard from her the other day and she’s had two more back-to-back SCTs (unsuccessful). She had tumors in her legs and had some operation to take care of whatever was going on. She’s now on ‘chemo’ and she named about four or five drugs. Revlimid was one of them. She mentioned that nasty “H” (hospice) word. I guess they talked about it, I don’t know how serious, but….they’re setting that aside for now.

This is upsetting to me because when I first met her, she was doing better than I was. She had a successful SCT where I didn’t. She was riding her horses where I couldn’t. The ‘fat lady hasn’t sung’ yet, so I’m not giving up on her. She’s got a great attitude and the Revlimid might be just what she needs. If you’re a person who prays, please pray for my friend, Jackie.

Well, other than it’s been five months since I’ve touched base and that I’m still dragging these crippled legs around, that’s about it. My MM is laying low. I’m still in yucky pain/discomfort from the spinal stuff and I still have trouble with “elimination” but there’s worse things that could be going on. I enjoyed my patio this last summer reading under my table umbrella. I planted flower pots, tomato plants, arugula & green onions in containers and had a regular little garden on my patio. Maybe I’ll post some pictures to show you how “cute” my patio was. It will be cuter next summer. Oh…and I’ll have to buy a new umbrella. Foolishly, I forgot to close my umbrella one night. A very windy rain storm approached and blew my table over, umbrella and all. Bye-bye umbrella. I plan on replacing it with a “cuter” umbrella next summer.

God Bless!

March 2011 – I’m Still Here

My goodness it’s been a while since I’ve updated in this blog. Sometimes I think I should delete it, as I’m not faithful to it. I’m sort of a nut, as I have at least three different blogs! I created each blog for a different purpose as well as audience. That’s plain stupid.

This blog was more for sharing my experience with others and hopefully helping others. My journey took so many strange turns. I guess if I use President Obama’s [irritating] analogy about driving a car, I’d say I ended up in a ditch myself! Afterall, I am a Republican. LOL [He’s such a divisive President, but this blog isn’t for my political leanings, so I’ll stop right there!]

What prompted me to write tonight is I received a very nice comment from a November 2007 entry! Wow. That was a long time ago. That’s back when I still had hope of getting back to normal, or at least a whole different kind of “normal” than what my “new normal” ended up being. That term ‘new normal’ sure turns out to sound obnoxious to me now!

For a refresher in case anyone has returned to this blog and forgotten my story or if you’re “new”, I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma IGG in October 2005. I was 50 years old. From the day I first got sick, October 4, 2005, I was never well enough to return to work! I had a stem cell transplant (April 2006) which did not provide for any remission whatsoever for me. I was on Revlimid/Dexamthesone from 8/06 – 10/07 which was 16 cycles I believe. That regimen gave me a very good partial remission.

But my problem is spinal cord damage (atrophy) at my T8. In December 2005 it was discovered I had a tumor at my T8, so I had radiation and kyphoplasty. Between the damage from the MM/tumor, then the radiation, and later the kyphoplasty, my spinal cord was damaged at that little spot.

When I read my posts back during October and November 2007 and later, it is unsettling a little for me to read how I describe my sensations. No wonder I always felt different than everyone else. I was different! I was thinking those sensations were side effects from Revlimid, the steroids, or some other medication. It never crossed my mind the possibility of spinal cord atrophy.

You would be surprised the progression of symptoms when your spinal cord is messed up and giving wrong messages to your brain. I am nearly crippled with the weakness and pain in my feet and legs. My legs have what they call “tone” which is the same as rigidity or spasticity. They don’t bend easily or at all. I think people with cerebral palsy has similar symptoms. I used to take Baclofen (pill) for the spasticity, but it wasn’t doing the job and practically knocked me out. I now have a Baclofen pump (Intrathecal pump) that holds medicine and is connected directly into my spinal cord. That sounds totally gross doesn’t it? To think that I was one who was scared of needles and now I walk around with this pump inside my stomach that has a tube that runs around my side (underneath the skin) and directly into my spinal column is crazy gross, huh? LOL When I first heard of the possibility of me getting one of these pumps, I freaked out. I said “no way”. I meant it, too. It’s funny what you do when you have to do it. If something is going to help you, you somehow are able to handle it. It’s really nothing now that I’ve adjusted to it. I’m glad it is ‘under’ the skin. I would say it has improved my quality of life 100%. It’s not a cure, but it certainly is a major improvement.

My MM is doing fine. My markers fluctuate, go up and down a little, but they’re within the normal range and don’t require treatment so far. I now see my oncologist every six months. This Wednesday I have Lab work done and will follow-up with the doctor the following week for my six month check-up.

I have to catheter to urinate, which is a pain in the rear really. Just think what it’s like when I go out in public. I have to be sure to carry catheters & all that goes along with being able to catheter myself when I am in a public bathroom. I hate that. I miss the days when going to the bathroom was less complicated. Bowel movements are also an ordeal. I guess whatever damage is done in my spine affects that function to some degree, too. You can google “Neurogenic Bowel” if I remember correctly. There’s a pamphlet in *.pdf format you can download and it gives you ideas of how to cope with this problem. There’s two different kinds of bowel trouble, if I recall, but I couldn’t tell you the term for the other one. A really awesome nurse from KU University who worked in the rehabilitation area sent me a copy of the pamphlet which gave instructions for people with Spinal Cord Injuries (SCI) on how to manage bowel functions. Although it is dated material, it is very helpful. I also found it on the internet.

It’s hard to find support related to SCI’s. No one talks about it and many doctors, nurses, and assistants don’t know enough about it to be of that much help. I mean, WHO talks about what you have to do to go to the bathroom if you’re paralyzed or having those kinds of issues? I haven’t googled that stuff in a while….maybe there’s info out there now.

I think part of my problem is acceptance. I think I’ve accepted this stupid new normal of having issues from spinal cord damage, but in fact I’m still being a bit stubborn about it. But, maybe that’s a good thing. Determination. You need to have a lot of determination to survive chronic illnesses let alone symptoms like paralysis or close to it.

So – I’m basically the same as I was last time I wrote in here. I know there are changes, but nothing major. I live by myself in a retirement-like place. I couldn’t live where there’s steps or had a long way to walk from my car to my home. I am still able to drive, although I don’t go out a lot. My sister often takes me to my doctor appointments, but then I also drive myself to them.

I prefer to stay home for the most part. I’m usually very tired and I just feel more comfortable in my own familiar surroundings with everything I need right here. I do try to force myself to get out amongst people, though. That is very important. I used to go to two different bible studies during the week. Well, I tried–I missed them sometimes, too. I often am too tired to go or I don’t push myself hard enough. Recently, one group rescheduled their study so that it is at the same time as my regular study. so I’m down to only one study group a week. I volunteer to help count my church’s Sunday offerings which is only about once a month. I try to be social and am blessed I have some true friends.

I do experience significant pain and discomfort. It’s really indescribeable. There isn’t much I can do about the pain and discomfort I have. There’s not a medication strong enough to numb the pain/discomfort. In order to numb this pain, I’d have to be put completely out! My feet not only burn 100% of the time, but I have sharp pains and a stretching and pulling sensation in my toes or under my feet. I have similar sensations in my private parts. It’s maddening. But, there is nothing you can do about it; you have to focus on other things in order to cope.

It’s easy to turn within yourself when you get immobile and are in pain, but that is the worse thing you can do. Funny, I KNOW much of what I should and need to do; I can write it out here, but I can’t always DO IT in reality.

I was just thinking about that today. On Sundays my son and daughter-in-law along with their 3 year old son visit me. They come to church with me, we eat lunch together, and then they visit in the afternoon. Today after they left I considered how little interaction I spent with my grandson today. I didn’t feel well and I think I was focusing on that rather than my grandson. I made note to myself that in the future, I’m going to try to focus more on my grandson (rather than my pain) and see if I can conquer this battle. I always hate it when after my grandson leaves, I look back and realize what I missed out on worrying about my discomfort.

Anyway, it’s really “same ole same ole” here. My other son and daughter-in-law are expecting their second son in June. Their first son will turn two March 15th. Oh my gosh! That’s in just a few days! I am hoping to spend some time with them in June, God-willing. It will have to be a God-thing, as I don’t think I can handle the travel on the airlines by myself. We shall see.

This was more of a refresher/catch-up entry. I hope to do better. (I think I’ve said that before…)

It’s back

My last visit to the Doc showed my myeloma is waking up slowly.  Finished a dose of prednisone and melaphan.  Easy to tolerate so far.  Will see in a few weeks what it did to my numbers.  Gary and Amy