Superhero

Today, I feel like a superhero wrapped in an invisible cape of immunity.  This is a far cry from how I felt two weeks ago. My WBC had crashed to 1.5 (range: 4.5 -10.0 K/ul) and my absolute neutrophils were .70 (range: 1.5 – 8.0 K/ul).   I felt frightened and extremely vulnerable so I put myself into isolation.  As it turned out, I didn’t mind restricting myself to our house because I developed a miserable cold and cough and didn’t feel like going anywhere.  In fact, I was unable to have my chemo last Friday because I was too ill. In the meantime, my lambda light chain (myeloma marker) has gone back up 17 points. 

I am happy to report that I think I have battled this cold into submission.  This meant that I was able to go to the clinic and have my chemo today.  After my blood draw, I settled into a comfy recliner in the infusion room, but I couldn’t relax as I waited for the results.  Reasonable and unreasonable thoughts were quarreling in my head as any cancer patient can relate to.  Would my counts go down again? A big worry since they were so low and didn’t have much room to drop.  Would they go up?  One could hope… What if I can’t have chemo? What if the myeloma is taking control? Would I have to see the doctor before my scheduled appointment in two weeks? My mind was awhirl.

You can imagine my surprise and elation when my results came back and my WBC was 5.4!  Yes, 5.4!  My absolute neutrophils were an equally astounding 3.8.  Now, I know what you are thinking,  “Of course, those numbers went up.  You have been battling a pretty miserable cold and cough.”  I know you are right, but it sure did feel good to see 5.4 after 1.5.  Realistically, I know that after today’s treatment and Friday’s treatment, they will probably go back down and I am ready for that.  But, I don’t expect them to go back to near zero. . .ever again.

Knowing that my WBC is no longer in the perilous zone has made  me feel like a superhero with super powers protecting me.  I haven’t felt like that for quite awhile, if ever, and I know it will be fleeting because I live in the multiple myeloma world where blood count numbers go up and down on that winding wicked roller coaster.  But, for awhile, I think I will relish being a superhero for a few days. 

Can you see my invisible cape of immunity?  If I squint my eyes, I almost think I can.