Snout surgery

So, I have avoided having surgery until now. 49+ years. I have a date with a very nice looking doctor in Mt. Sinai hospital who is going to operate on a blocked, infected sphenoid sinus, which is close to my brain. Some backround: I have had a post-nasal drip cough for probably 20 years. It was almost constant until I started taking an asthma med (inhaled steroids) that it calmed down a little, but, it still is an every day thing. Temperature changes trigger it, dairy and other foods, perfume, hormones, etc. I am forever sucking on Halls drops to control it. Back in Jan. or Feb. of this year, I started noticing a click in my throat when I swallowed. I waited to see if it would go away, it didn’t, and after we got through Liv’s sweet 16, I went to my ear, nose, and throat doc. He scoped me (up the nose and down into the throat) and said he saw nothing but ordered a CT scan to be sure. The CT of my throat was fine but they caught this blocked, inflamed sinus on it. Doc put me on a strong antibiotic, which cleared my cough up beautifully, but irritated my IBS so badly, I could hardly leave the house for running to the bathroom. A follow-up CT showed some improvement, but the next step would be 6 weeks of this very strong antibiotic and steroids, with no guarantee it would work. Now, I have a wonky heartbeat and steroids could aggravate that AND, 6 weeks of diarrhea with a good chance of getting C-diff, was not something I wanted either. Bad enough if I got C-diff. It’s very contagious and I could give it to Tim. So, My doc sent me into NYC to see a man who is supposed to be VERY good at what he does, which is guided surgery in this area. He was very nice, said he really thinks I need the surgery and said that if I have had symptoms this long, what’s stuck in there is probably so thick, meds alone probably wouldn’t clear it anyway and he plans to widen the passageway to the sinus to try to cure the problem once and for all. I am SCARED, folks. I do not tolerate meds well and this is general anesthesia. I already warned him that I puke from narcotics. He said his wife is the same way, and I will be medicated for that to try to avoid it. I think it’s my wonky heartbeat and allergy to Demerol that scares me more. I have always felt a bit jinxed when it comes to medical stuff. Things never seem to go “textbook” for me. If something happens to me, I cannot even tell you what a pickle Tim and Olivia will be in. Our support system these days has shrunk considerably and I manage 2 houses, Tim’s business, and all the paperwork that comes in and out of here, along with Liv’s life, etc. Tim really doesn’t even have a good understanding of his MM, as he never wanted to know and left it up to me to find out what we needed to know to make decisions. It’s so hard to be a caregiver with health problems of my own. Tim tried to comfort me by saying that he would figure it out, but, I know that he would not be able to stay on top of running his business and do all the things I do. He would have to hire the business paperwork and management of our rental property out, at considerable expense. It’s just too overwhelming to even think about. I was told that it’s not good to leave this sinus infected, that it could drain intercranally, (sp?). I dunno, it’s probably been this way 20 years. It’s tough when you have a choice to make. This may never turn deadly, but, what if something happens during surgery. On the other hand, this problem has been a b**ch to live with and I believe may be a large part of the fatigue I have suffered for many years. Chronic sinusitis causes fatigue and many other things. Your body is constantly fighting an infection it can’t get rid of. Today, I go to my cardiologist for a cardiac clearance for the surgery. On Nov. 3rd, the surgery is scheduled. I know as it nears I will get more nervous. I just want this done and behind me so badly. I’d like to put it off and not do it at all, but, another part of me also says, “Denise, do this while Tim is not in treatment and you’re not dealing with his condition on top of it.” He will also have his check-up that week. My surgery, Monday, his visit, Friday. Gonna be a tough week. He has been having night sweats lately, which makes me nervous that his MM is on the move and chemo may not be far off. That cliché about taking it one day at a time is so hard, near impossible really. I try to tell myself, “Denise, you are having SINUS SURGERY, that’s all. No biggie.” Well, I hope it works out that way. This doc is confident, does this plenty. But, I’ve only been put out for wisdom teeth and a colonoscopy. I’m a big old chicken. So, wish me luck, folks. This is a big one for me, made even harder that we have to haul in and out of NYC to have it done, but, I’m told this guys is aces, so, I’m not gonna trade skill and confidence for the convenience of getting it done locally, if there even was someone around here. I flat out told my ENT and this surgeon, “I have a husband with myeloma and a 16 year-old. We can’t afford to have anything happen to me.”