Have you ever wondered why you wake up in a particular frame of mind, or in my case, mood? I sometimes go to bed with my head in a good place only to wake with a cloud raining on my parade. It is almost as if a dream has left a stain like the ring from a cup. I have learnt over the last few years how to “cope” when it happens, at least most of the time. The exercise I get from my three outings each week has of course helped, the jogging is coming along nicely. I am still very slow, but I am told the important thing at this stage is not speed, but the stamina to keep going for longer, speed comes later. I haven’t lost any weight, Mike says it might be because the fat weight has become muscle weight. I feel much fitter, so I’m happy to keep going even if I’m still as heavy as a hippo.
Yet my mood over the last week or so though has had me snappy, anxious, and tearful. I have been going out for my run, but I have been reluctant to venture out at other times of the day. I am prone to panicking too. The other day Mike couldn’t find his keys, he took the spare set and rushed off to dialysis. I then turned the house upside down, rushing around like a headless chicken, even though I knew I should calm down and stop fretting. I just couldn’t stop myself.
I will with time, and a bit of kindness from myself and others, find myself in a good place once more. I always have before.