Earlier today, exactly two seconds after Jay left the house to go see the new Star Trek movie, WCK came running inside, screaming that there was a snake in the yard. I went outside and stood on the front step with her, and I noticed a long tree branch in the front yard.
In the meantime, I was texting Jay photos of the snake with thoughtful commentary. Actual text of my text: “Sweet merciful crap!!!”
|Sweet merciful crap.|
It gets better. During one of my final photo missions, a second Sweet Merciful Crap Viper slithered across the yard and cuddled up with its friend:
|Reunited and it feels so good.|
OK. That was it. I loaded WCK into the car and we went to the grocery store. It was turning into Raiders of the Lost Ark out there.
Once we got home from the store, the snakes were gone, as far as we could tell. We spent some time Googling Missouri snakes and identified them as Eastern yellow-bellied racers, which are non-venomous. My snake ID was later validated by a retired science teacher after I posted the photo on Facebook. Score!
Anyway. We haven’t seen a sign of the snakes for hours. I’m sure after we left for the store, the two snakes had a chat and decided it was not worth living near the crazy, screaming, camera-phone family, and they decided to go somewhere very, very far away.
And if they did decide to stay, I’m sure they decided they would never ever have a giant nest of babies.