She’s a little runaway

WCK, for reasons unknown, says she doesn’t like going to movies. So when her cruel, heartless, evil, wicked parents announced that they wanted to take her to see The Muppets, she ran to her room and started packing a bag so she could run away from home.
Jay had a talk with her, and he finally convinced her to come out of her room and endure the horror of watching The Muppets while eating a bag of movie theater fruit snacks. She survived. She might have even enjoyed it a little bit.
When I inspected her “runaway bag”, I found it contained pajamas, a pair of pink sparkly pants, a Princess Leia wig, and several pairs of sunglasses. I asked why she needed so many sunglasses.
“Oh, I don’t know,” she said. “I was thinking of heading somewhere warm.”
Looking back, I probably should have questioned the Princess Leia wig instead of the sunglasses.
She doesn’t know it yet, but this is the story that will haunt her for the rest of her life. We’ll all be sitting around at her college graduation: “Remember when you tried to run away from home because you didn’t want to see The Muppets? Ha ha ha ha!”