Screening One

Film: Captain Phillips

Running Time: Back Seizing (to consider morphine for any screenings where I do not have an aisle seat and I’ll be sitting for longer than two hours)

Protagonist’s Myeloma Survival: Dead. Or at least paralysed. If the lead character had myeloma, particularly with a weak C5, they’d be saying bye bye to wiggling their legs and arms to be sure. Must avoid being attacked by pirates with guns and a quick temper. It’s based on a true story, so I’m pretty sure that a shipping company would not allow a myeloma suffer undergoing treatment, to captain a ship off the coast of Sudan. We probably couldn’t be a Navy SEAL either.

Fellow Audience: The girl to my right was texting somebody called ‘Ice’. Apparently she was having a bad day…. The girl to my left tutted when she stood on my stick, and then when I explained that it would take a whole for me to stand up. She smelt like fish, apt I suppose for a film set at sea.

Trivia: It turned out the opening night gala of LFF was a black tie event. 95% of the audience seemed to have got that message but me. I’m not going to lie, it was quite embarrassing. Why oh why did I wear blue jeans? That’s going to play on me when i’m with EMan later. I was so embarrassed, I was not able to execute my attack on Tom Hanks (translation of attack equals saying hello), which I had purposeful not worn a wig to execute. Goddamn.

Tired Rating: I really wish my mummy could pick me up from the bus stop and then tuck me in… Yes, at times, Mamma Jones still tucks me in. I have cancer.

A blurry image of people