I believe there comes a point in all cancer patients’ journey when they begin to have urges. Adult urges. Maybe not all cancer patients, perhaps just the ones who are of the age and not yet terminal. Maybe when it is terminal you still get the urge, I do not know that yet. If one was to get the urge then, perhaps they would be up for trying a whole range of exciting things and experiences like, spooning. I suspect that in most cases, a break in treatment and an absence of drugs, is to blame for a reignited, erm… energy.

When such a circumstance arises, I do not think there is much an unattached myeloma patient can do about it. If you take away the issue of a lack of partner, even if the patient feels well, they still have the bone lesions to deal with. I read an article yesterday about a woman who became paralysed by a sneeze. Imagine the danger a little bit of bump’n’grind would put said patient in, or indeed, an unexpected release of pleasure. I suppose then, one can bring a whole new meaning to safe and follow the Macmillan guidance and stroke. (Light reading http://ejbones.wordpress.com/2012/11/29/sex-educatiaon/)

What is needed then, in this hypothetical situation is a Booty Hug, not a Booty Call, a Booty Hug. A term I was introduced to by a complete random last Sunday. A willing participant, who is content with a hug and no exchange of bodily fluids. Basically, a willing participant up for disappointment. Maybe literally.

Where does one find one? I suppose for some myeloma patients, if you have your heart set on a specifically individual out of your reach, like somebody in space, you are setting yourself up for failure and unnecessary torment. Escaping from this, I presume, would be quite difficult when you are housebound and the only new people you meet are Medically Trained People with a code of practise.

That’s it then. There is only one way to release this energy. By yourself. Stroking.

I am just so relieved that I have yet to find myself in this situation.