Perhaps, just perhaps….

…..the other evening was the peak my consultant keeps talking about. I certainly felt as if I had reached the top of the mountain. Yesterday evening (when things are usually at their worst) was much better. Now is that because of the hourly doses, I had been taking of Oramorph during the day, regardless of whether or not I really needed it? Or because of the threat of going into the Hospice? When Colin called Louise (my pain nurse) yesterday morning, she reported that she had done all she could in the community. She suggested that she referred me to the Hospice for a 24 hour stay in order for them to administer medication that she was not allowed to give unless first given and monitored in the hospital. Hmm now it has taken a lot of courage for me to go along for the odd cup of tea and foot massage to the Hospice but going in overnight is a whole different matter. I am not keen to be lying in a bed next to dying people. I also don’t want to be at the point where they try out possibly fatal drugs and then come out the only way I imagine in a box! No the Hospice, as nice as it for some people at a time for a restful end, is not where I want to end my days!!!! (Sorry uncle Jack). Suddenly I find myself feeling much brighter perhaps the patches are starting to work?

Yesterday was also pretty busy. The morning started (after the near fatal call with louise), with morning coffee with Ed and Betty and a take home jar of the famous marmalade. We love seeing Ed and Betty and conversation always flows so easily with them that it seems as if we have known them for years.

We arrived home to see our regular gardener hard at work. Mum really is doing an amazing job but the weeds seem to grow at a much faster rate than the flowers she’s kindly planted. After lunch I went for my obligatory afternoon nap in the motorhome, to be woken some time later by our best friends holding out croissants and offering to bring in a cup of tea. Sitting together in the motorhome, all be it in the drive, is like being on a little holiday. We were soon joined by Patrick (the retired vicar, and good friend) who always joins in so well with the conversations going and has a giggle with us all. Not long after his departure Michael (my ex husband) dropped in for a cuppa and very kindly presented us with a gift of a lovely photo of Jem and Elliot.


Then a little later Keith and Shirley popped in as the last of our visitors for the day.

As the evening approached with anticipation I am delighted to report that the pain did not reach its usual peak levels. Hip Hip Hooray just perhaps we are on the way down. so please can it be a fast descent with a soft landing.

Today will be a hunt for more bottles of Oramorph as I have quaffed more down than expected and am rather low on supplies. This is something dear reader, unlike chocolate peanuts, that you can’t come and provide me copious amounts of.

Enjoy your weekend as I surely will do, in the knowledge that I am not spending Saturday night at the Hospice (Sounds like a line of a song).

“Saturday Night at the Hospice,
who care’s what bed that your’e in,
when your hugging with your pillow,
no guessing what pills they’ll pop in

Oh Saturday Night at the Hospice
isn’t the place for me
I am all of a sudden
on the path of recovery”

Or is it meant to say Saturday Night at the Movies?

I can feel another new career coming on

Love Deborah xxxx