One step back

Have you seen her? Have you heard the way she plays? There are no words to describe the way I feel
She Bangs the Drum – The Stone Roses

Day 18 : … Haemoglobin 8.9 … Neutrophils 0.72 … Platelets 6 …

Feeling a little less exhausted this morning, but not a lot, I make my way down to hospital for blood tests. I persuade them to let me go home while they wait for the results – they’ll call me with the scores. When they do, my neutrophils are well up (hurrah) but my platelets are well down. No real surprise, but it means I need to come back down to the hospital for another platelet transfusion.

When I get here, my temperature has gone up to 38.2C. This is above the magic threshold so… I’m put back on the (yucky) antibiotics, and admitted back on to a hospital ward for tonight.

Bugger, bugger, bugger.

This is rubbish. Rubbish for me, because I am so over hospital; rubbish for Marisa, who was doing a valiant job of nursing me at home; and rubbish for the boys, who are left – not for the first time – not knowing if I’m coming or going.

I’d be amazed if they let me out tomorrow. I bet I’m here for 2 or 3 days, even if my temperature stabilises and nothing shows up in my blood cultures.

Bugger, bugger, bugger.