Hey! It’s me, your friendly #ADD #VET buddy…. “Make sure you keep your Tetanus shot records up to date.”
What had happened was…
On my way to trauma survivor group therapy. Text message to buddies:
I am so glad we have group this morning! My fight or flight brain circuits keep me on alert, physically watching for anything. Takes too long to relax the mind, fall asleep at random times, but stay deep asleep, but I wake up in panic, because I fall asleep trying to solve too many problems. Fried brain with stress.
Walk downstairs, aim my body & parts towards car…
Nice Ginger neighbor is outside right ahead of me… She has 2 rather unfortunate-looking -really-old-pooches… This one dude has serious problems, he tries to attack anybody he sees. His owner is an older disabled woman, so its really sad, becasue the dog wants to kill anything that goes near it, but she obviously really loves the ugly old thing. *insert. haha?
Anyhoo… I immediately – submissively, try not to look at it’s eyes, and attempt to scoot away from these two unfortunate beasts… Lest they try to kill my ankles.
And as fast as you can glance to the left or right… that little M*Fer lunged at me… Ok, it is probably a little over 40 lbs, imagine a really-Retired-Not-Cute- Mash-Up between a Pug, and a really obese Chihuahua… Yeah… Ok, so back to the little beast… “omg”
That little TURD jumped UP to bite the back of my arm, and bite to marks on my inner thigh (should I be worried Universe?). Like soooo fast. haha, but I am a super hero, so… yeah.
I immediately assumed a safe position, the woman was upset… Sorry, oh my God, I am so Sorry… um, what else can you say if your dog just attacked someone? I don’t even know, but… in my non-confrontational, snazzy, or (spazzy) – but classic Tina-style, wants everyone to be ‘All Good, No Worries, Have a Nice Day’…
Jogging to my car, putting on my shades, saying: It is really OK, I love dogs, really, I don’t even know if I looked at him wrong… lol I JUST apologized for … walking out of my front door, and getting bit by a rabid dog? *just making notice of the absurdity that has been my life as a Chronic APOLOGIZER from everything to going to the bathroom, to breathing in your directions.
Anyway, my default is to be sorry for every. damn. thing. going wrong in the universe. But I am legitmately sorry. Oh Yes… let’s take a walk on the wild side of… Christina’s brain… Ha… too late. Awe, I think…that lady is probably going to lose her dog now, *insert my sad emoticon* she’s really sad…
But, the new Survivor in me said: realistically, that little beast has bit three people this month. We have my babies (and other babies) in my building. So, we had to file a report. So…
Anyway, back to my story:
I got into my car because… BY GOLLY, I GOTTA do that PTSD THERAPY… Cuz, some of us have to work on better coping mechanisms to respond to highly stressful situations.
Here’s my Brain talking to itself:
Uh Oh, bleeding, oh oh, it burns, it actually still hurts? Like Seriously? Pulling down waist band, looking at my leg, Oh Man! I have to go to the dumb doctor! Ridiculous… Don’t EVEN HAVE TIME to go to Stupid Hospital… *Enter: the new and improved- handy-dandy-survivor brain. It says: Hey me, if you do not get it checked, you will always be wondering if you could catch something else, and if you die TOO SOON, your kids will be so pissed… oh and Charlie too, and blah blah blah (you know, the usual). Several hours later, after seeing a Vet-Tech who cross-trained to a Nurse, and a Doctor I could not understand, and none of them cleaned out the wounds, or did anything. So I felt really irritated, especially the fact I had to go to buy more First Aid crap and take care of my stupid dog bites my self. *tiny violin & boohoo emoji* Currently taking my amoxicillin, in case my mom asks.
Ok, a reason I blog this stupid event, because it is significant, because it is one of my life’s first, legitimately, unprovoked dog attacks (hope its the last). The event did, however, connect some mental dots for me on multiple unresolved traumas. The traumatized brain recalls info quick when events leave indelible impressions on it. Anyways, going backward in time… today was a rough day. But… still. Hi Ho, it’s Off to Life I Go!
Because, this BS – CANNOT last Forever. I mean… For realzies.