Mystery Solved

God is great, life is good, and grandkids are amazing.

I was looking out through the little windows in our front door when the furnace came on.  I felt the heat from the register next to the door and waved my bare foot over it noting that it wasn’t putting out much warm air.  Could something be wrong with the furnace?  I checked the next register and it was producing much more air.  Has the duct disconnected?  Did it somehow get crushed or has it become a comfortable home to a small animal under the house?  I made a mental note to check it out very soon.

I put it on my “mental note” list, walked out the door and promptly forgot about it.  If the thought had survived long enough to land on my written list, it wouldn’t have made much difference.  I keep lists to remember and prioritize, but lately, I haven’t been adding to or even looking at the master list or its sub-lists.  Lists are no longer necessary; all I have to do is look left or look right and I see multiple things demanding time and attention.

I recently stepped into a block of time that was too small to start or resume a project, but big enough that I could………..  What could I do with this unoccupied, uncommitted moment?  I looked to the left and saw the furnace register – I could push my inspection camera (cable camera) down that heater vent (instead of crawling under the house with a baseball bat and generic varmint eviction notice) and try to discover what is restricting the air flow.

I pulled the register cover off and fed the cable camera down the hole.  The cover is not fastened to the floor, it’s just a snug, drop-in fit.  The camera sent a live video report to my cell phone.  I could see something resting in the black, flexible, insulated duct.  A small, rolled up blanket?  No, it turned out to be a shirt, a kid’s shirt size 2t – but there’s more!  Behind the shirt was a pair of kids Oshkosh size 6 (US) shoes!

Careful analysis of this evidence produced a short list of suspects or persons of interest who may have witnessed or might otherwise have some knowledge of how those clothing items came to be abandoned in the duct, and could possibly shed some light on the motivation(s) for whoever put them there.

Maybe they were wet and it seemed a good place to dry them.

My ear-nose-throat doctor thought Pulmonary Function Testing (including a Meth test – the Methacholine challenge) would be prudent to rule out my lungs as the source of my chronic cough and throat clearing, before talking seriously about the previously mentioned, “procedure.”

I took two tests.  Both involved a lot of breathing and hard blowing into a mouthpiece connected to a hose.  I suggested the technicians might enjoy more enthusiastic patient participation if the mouthpiece incorporated a kazoo.

Neither test indicated a problem in the lungs.