Myeloma Dreamin’

I spend a lot of my time sleeping. Surprise!

Often, it is not a proper sleep. Poor REM. The sleep is a half sleep induced by drugs and illness, thus my dreaming is frequent and bizarre. In case you were ever tempted, I do not recommend watching a David Attenborough documentary on amphibians before such a snooze… red frogs everywhere.

Obviously, my favourite dreams, at the time at least, are the ones when I dream that I do not have myeloma. I go on roller coasters, break dance and stand for long periods of time. It is bliss. Such dreams are usually greeted by intense disappointment upon waking, when I am faced with my reality of struggling to sit upright.

Over Christmas, I have had some delightful dreams. The magical, mystery world of my mind is a wonderful place. I’ve been all around the universe, whilst remaining in my bed the whole time. Isn’t living great?

Last night’s was my absolute favourite of them all…

Imagine the plot of the 1993 classic ‘Jurassic Park’, but replace genetically modified dinosaurs with myeloma. I know it does not make sense, it is a dream. So, I am on an island near Costa Rica surrounded by people I know. The island is kitted out just like Isla Nublar is in the movie. My colour scheme was red, yellow, black and browns. Kept in large pens on the island are beasts collectively known as ‘Myelomas’ out to kill anybody and anything they come into contact with. There is also uranium. I think the latter was introduced because I watched ‘Notorious’ the other day. I am the gamekeeper, and I am sympathetic towards the Myelomas, but like the others, I want them to be dead too and we hatch a plan to use the uranium against them. My friend GB was taking on the Myelomas with gusto; he was a fan of the movie so he was using that knowledge to protect us. It is a but hazy now, but I purposely set a trap for a friend to be attacked by the Myelomas after I caught him using baby talk on the phone to his girlfriend. My subconscious must not like baby talk. Housemate was responsible for playing the ‘Jurassic Park’ theme tune from his bedroom throughout.

In my dream, I had already been attacked by the Myelomas, so jumping and running away from them was difficult, but I was keen to survive so I wore camouflage and covered myself in Myeloma dung. Pragmatic. The last thing I recall from my dream, was being trapped in a cave like jungle with my friends… In a way, I wish the last part of my dream was GB and me frantically eating jelly, as it wobbles away to the footsteps of the Myelomas. I love jelly.

So, that was my dream. Have fun analysing that, but in the meantime, below is a picture of me in ‘Jurassic Park’.

I am being brave, hence the smile.