Here I sit pondering the last moments of my 55th year on this beautiful, yet conflicted earth, as my personal clock rolls over to 56. I am overwhelmed by so many thoughts and so much going on in my life and others’…
I have incurable cancer… yet so fortunate to be treated with miraculous life lengthening chemicals, which are extending my life beyond original expectations.
I have survived this deadly, terminal cancer now for 6 years, due to the expert care I received by my beautiful, intelligent, deeply caring Hematologist/Oncologist Dr Soon-Ki Lee…
I am here… she is not…
Today I attended her funeral/memorial service and my heart is absolutely broken. Broken that her life was so abruptly cut short, by her own sudden medical complication. How can this be? I just don’t understand this complicated life. It makes less and less sense to me, the older I get.
Why am I still here, and she is not?
The absolute irony of her diagnosing and treating my terminal illness, helping to extend my life and I am still here… and she is not. She’s younger than me, smarter than me, she saved my life, and gave her life in medical service to others… and now she’s gone.
My heart just aches for her family. For her husband and teenage children and all her loved ones, I briefly met today.
Goodbye beautiful, caring, intelligent Dr Lee. Such a special lady I care so deeply for, who impacted my life so profoundly, for whom I and my family are eternally grateful. Goodbye Dr Lee, you are my “Angel-Doctor” now…
I cannot wrap my head around this loss…
Forward life goes…
|(Thank you Rachael for this awesome picture!)
Life moves forward
And so my year of symbolic 5’s is coming to a close.
55 turns into 56
5 turns into 6
5 years since myeloma diagnosis, becomes 6 years in December
5 years ingesting, injecting chemotherapy, becomes 6 years in January 2016
5 years since Stem Cell Transplant will become 6 years July 2016
5 years trying to wrap my brain around cancer and it’s impact on my life, becomes 6 years
Posting on the 5’s, will become posting on the 6’s
But 5 and half years will be that Forever, the time I had with beautiful Dr Lee…
live well, and make a difference somewhere, somehow, with someone or something
as often as you can!