March week three.

This afternoon’s sky just about summed up my mood. As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t find the daily small moment of joy that has kept me going. A flower, a bird, a funny moment, all escaped me. Like all things this mood will pass. Like the moments of panic, when I am scared I will never cope with life alone, until I remember I coped perfectly well with five children and no man, that I coped when Mike was in hospital and bed bound for a month when he did come out. 

In my head I hear all the cliches that people are prone to recite at such times. I will survive, I will get through this, I will learn to live with the grief, I will find happiness again. 

Mike and I are both coping really well under the circumstances, we are still trying to get a few things sorted.