…yesterday was the first time in the last six months or so, that I positively felt well. To tell the truth, I had forgotten what feeling well,actually felt like. It was on January 7th of this year that I received the call that turned my life upside down. Somewhat hesitantly, I was crawling towards my 50th birthday in a smouldering sort of fashion. However three days prior to my birthday, everything in my world started burning fierce fully as my latest blood results confirmed a diagnosis of Mutliple Myeloma. Instead of returning to the job I loved after the Christmas break, I was catapulted into a full time regime of hospital appointments. The bone biopsy that recorded the 80-90% cancerous cells in my bone marrow, triggered the gun to my own, personal Race for Life. This time, instead of joining my work colleagues in Regents Park, running and collecting money for cancer charities, I was the beneficiary. So just how did that happen? I was the girl who could make dreams come true, the one who focused her intentions on reaching for the sky and got there. Suddenly all my foundations came crumbling down and I found myself crawling among the rubble, scarcely seeing through the tears as the dust finally settled. Bad things happen to strong people, is the way I chose to reframe the catastrophe in front of me. If anyone could cope with this I could, but I must admit there have been days that I have doubted even my strongest beliefs. But here I am ready to rise from the ashes, ready to adorn my rose coloured spectacles with the Pollyannerish attitudes that have paved my path with gold. Welcome back Deborah, I thought I had nearly lost you for a moment there hidden beneath the piles of consent forms and GP letters. Welcome back to the dreamer whose dreams are a tad brighter than they ever were before. Thank you to the universe for showing me the darkness, so that I could recognise the bright lights and not be blinded by the glare. Get ready world because I am coming your way, stronger for the storm you sent to twist and turn furiously until the sunshine began to stream through the clouds of utter despair. My harvesting will reap the fruits of all of our efforts and my party will become the celebration of life.
Brace yourselves.
Today is going to be a good day a very good day !
Thank you for sticking by my side
Deborah xxxxx
