Here we go again with Dpace

Day one of Dpace Chemo treatment.
My day yesterday began with “the phone call” at 1:35am from my mom’s doctor saying she was getting progressively worse since I left her the night before at 9:30pm.  Not a good feeling when you get that call in the early hours.  I alerted my sister-in-law who alerted my brother.  Not a good feeling, either, when your brother is out of town.  The sense of helplessness and not having that family member close by for support and help in decision making stuff is even worse.  (he had to end his trip early to come home-my heart ached as he did need this much needed time away)  My drive down to Sunnybrook was a lonely anxious one.
A very tough day ahead of me.
I stayed with my mom with my sister-in-law by my side.  My parents have two children.  But my dad always says he has four.  They (my husband and sister-in-law) have always been treated like family as far as my parents go.
Yesterday, I witnessed the very bad side of cancer.
Yesterday, serious decisions had to be made.
Yesterday, was Tony’s first day of Dpace.
I had to figure out a way to get him downtown to his appointment.  Who can I call at 5am to make this decision?  ( I did think of you Rosemary) He had to be downtown by 9am. For those that know all these locations, you know that I had a lot of driving to do.  I left my mom to pick up Tony at home and while he drove downtown, I caught some zzzzs. His sister (who he says spoiled and treated him better than I do-hahahaha) met us at the hospital and was with him all day long.  I’m grateful that she was able to take the day off from her busy work schedule and take over this part of my “to do” today.  This was my first appointment at PMH that I was not there for my husband.  I knew he was in great hands.  She’s a great advocate.  Things went well.  He did his blood work.  I think he said his hemoglobin was 89?  can’t remember.  Between him and my mom these numbers are getting confusing in my brain.  The samples they took last week came back negative so he was good to go for chemo.  He was at PMH at 9am and they didn’t leave downtown till 3pm.  Long day for everyone. Thank you, Paola, for the groceries and cooking dinner for Tony and Robert.  Could it be the steroids in his “cocktail” of chemo that made him eat a “delicious” dinner”? (his exact words, Paola)  No, she’s a great cook.  Nothing better than meat and potatoes.  Paola’s potatoes.  They are the best!
I left my mom around 7:30pm to come home.  At this point we are doing shifts to stay with her 24/7.  It’s been rough as my sister-in-law, brother and myself haven’t slept in over 36 hours.
I always say to save your tears for the drive home.  Well, it was an emotional drive home.  I called my best friend, my husband, and vented.  It wasn’t till I heard his sadness over my blue tooth, that I realised, he has cancer too.  I need to be sensitive and watch my choice of words next time.  I know his sadness was because he felt bad for my mom and for us dealing with this. but………….not going to say it……………..
our new “normal” life is about to change, again.
Tears are rolling down my face as I type this blog… …keep us in your prayers for strength during this difficult time.