Health Care Reform Murders Family, Blows Up Orphanage, Supports Terrorists!

Socialized medicine! Death panels! Government-funded abortions! In case the “Tea Baggers” have you truly frightened, this should comfort you: A Guide for Those Traumatized by Right-Wing Fear-Mongering Lies about Health Care Reform.

Although the so-called HealthCare Reform bill was watered down to the point of toothlessness, and the Seig Heil Uber-Right ended up getting almost everything they wanted, in the true spirit of crybabies everywhere, the TBs have taken public rhetoric to a new low. Honestly, I hadn’t thought that was possible, but those ever classy “Tea Baggers” have again demonstrated their debating skills and righteousness by shouting “f*ggot!” and “n*gger!” and even spitting at House members who dared to defy god hisself by voting for that pathetic, tepid health care reform bill. This should erase any doubts about their intelligence.

Since they’ve provided a real insight into their motives and intentions, I think it only fair that the TBers be correctly addressed on the floor from now on. Instead of “We recognize the kind gentleman from Skankville…,” let’s switch to “We recognize the lying, hypocritical, scumbag…” No more “Gentlewoman from Stupidland.” She will henceforth be “The shrieking, spitting hysteric.” Yes, I’m actually looking forward to their next strategy: accusing us of name-calling and ad hominem attacks. In anticipation, I offer this reply, which even they should understand: “Neener, neener, neener!”