So tomorrow is my birthday and I’ll be 44!! Who would have guessed I’d get this far along the line – certainly not me when I was diagnosed nearly ten years ago.
And honestly I am so, so grateful to have got this far with relatively few problems or setbacks. But I can’t help but be slightly saddened this year and the pessimistic part of me (that I don’t often allow out with my myeloma!) is worrying that it could be my last healthy birthday. Totally ridiculous and without substance as I have as much chance of a good response to any treatment , as I do of anything else.
But at the same time, I’ve had 2 myeloma friends die in the past week and another, just tonight, has let people know that his body is nearing the end. I know that myeloma sometimes does a u turn in now it responds for people. Just because you’ve responded well in the past, doesn’t mean you’ll respond well in the future. It’s all a bit of pot luck!
So, I’m going to try and have a great birthday – a day out with Nick in Ludlow tomorrow (looking for old furniture for our renovated living area) and then a weekend away with my old school friends and our families. Hopefully lots of good food and good wine!
And for a few days, I’m going to try to put my insecurities behind me!!