Happy Belated Birthday to B

I’ve been so full of me, me, me that I neglected to mention that it was B’s birthday last Friday, the 3rd – of Feb that is, obviously not his third birthday because that would be just wrong – he ‘s 49. Now I know that some people had remembered and indeed wished him Happy Birthday in advance (thank you Lorna and Denise). So as a way to mitigate my abandonment of sharing this vital bit of information I thought I would share a revelation I discovered back in August of 2010 which I hadn’t actually got round to sharing.

In the summer of 2010 I read of a new film coming out called The Expendables. In this film were a collection of various action stars from the 80s/90s. Having been a complete tom boy I loved these films and still do, along with horror and sci-fi, and was so excited at seeing so many of the main participants in these taking part in this one such as…

Jason Statham
Dolph Lundgren
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Sylvester Stallone
Dolph Lundgren
Jet Li
Dolph Lundgren
Eric Roberts
Steve Austin – okay he was new but I recognised the name
Dolph Lundgren
Mickey Rourke
Terry Crews – – didn’t recognise the name but recognised him
Dolph Lundgren
Bruce Willis

and, did I mention, Dolph Lundgren!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I may have had a slight ‘appreciation’ of Mr Lundgren in such films as He-man and Rocky IV and such like so I was a tad excited to see what he was up to nowadays.

I have to admit although excited by the prospect of this film I was also a little nervous that it may, basically suck. The only time B and I go to the cinema is when we are on holiday and there was no way I was going to persuade B to accompany me to this only for it to be considered by him rubbish, not after the whole Alien vs Predators debacle. So I decided that for continued peace in the matrimonial home I would rather wait for it to become available on DVD or Sky. As it turned out it was released while we were on holiday and since picture going is a holiday event, and there was nothing else B could offer in replacement, we went along .

The film itself was alright – yeah just alright. I was a bit disappointed but it had a lot to live up to. Don’t get me started on how much of a pensioner Arnie looked or the fact that there were no immediately repeatable quotes I could subject B to for days after. There was no…

‘I’ll be back’*

‘Asta la vista baby’**

‘We’re gonna need a bigger boat’***


Above and beyond this was the other thing. The thing I couldn’t immediately talk about. To explain myself further – my taste in men has always leant, somewhat heavily, towards tall, preferably, muscular blondes. I’ve always been immune to the charming handsomeness of various visitors to places I’ve worked that have had friends/colleagues swooning/drooling at their desks to the point where people who hadn’t meet B instantly assumed he must fall into this category and were surprised when he only fell into tall. I initially used to say it was because he was special and then later that he fell through quality control!  I mean don’t be feeling sorry for me because I have particular leaching tastes I am still swayed by a nice set of biceps and it means that I have only been rendered incapable of coherent conversation (well okay, that could be debatable) a few times such as with the guy who used to deliver our organic veggie box, or one of the owners of a video shop.

Now I hadn’t seen Dolph in a film for donkeys years and not being one to keep up with hardly any star/actor news I had no idea what he was up to but needless to say I was a tad excited to see him on the BIG screen.

After sitting there in stunned silence watching this man on the BIG SCREEN I had to take time to process the viewing experience and you know what it all boiled down to? This…

over the years B has aged better than Dolph Lundgren!