Anyone who has lost someone they loved will know what I am going through. The house seems so quiet without his voice and at the same time so full of him and his things that wherever I turn I am jolted by the grief of seeing his shoes, his coffee cup, his coat, all without him. My phone makes a sound and I check to see if it is a text from him. I see something interesting and I turn to talk to him. I want to tell him how Toni was doing her doggie smile as she chased squirrels. I want to hold his hand as we walk around the park. I want the tears to stop, but at the same time it feels like that would be a betrayal. Too soon to stop grieving, too soon to stop wanting him back.

I thought I would leave the blog behind, but a very dear friend suggested I continued to write. The journey isn’t yet over. Mike still has a part to play, if only for others to know they are not alone in how they feel in the years to come.