Do you ever notice how I seem to be chasing the sun? I mean, I spend a lot of time documenting the rise and the fall to the earth of the sun and I am fascinated by all the colors painted each and every time? We realize it is a ball of fire and it could destroy the earth someday right? Do I ever think of it that way? No, I think…. oooohhh it is sooooo pretty, let me get closer. I am seriously fascinated with the view from my back window, it feels like a living painting and I do not have to pay for the luxury, it just came with the house that the government helps me pay for. I mention this statement because, up until maybe two months ago, I did not properly appreciate my old, drafty home or the view. I think my intention with the photography idealization is to visualize what my life would look like if I lived in the large homes that are bordering my neighborhood. I neglected the appreciation of my own house and did not daily remind myself as I should have, of how fortunate I am to live on such a quiet street, with such great neighbors. I never thought to appreciate the proximity of small town community kindness and the bigger city experience close enough, how it is just perfect for me and my family. This is something I now remember every day that I live, until such a day that I am granted a larger living space that matches my dreams.
I am grateful for every hardship or every darkness experienced which make me appreciate the moments of light more. I am grateful for still being alive, and for learning the lessons I have learned through learning to love myself. I appreciate the clarity of mind to be able to look back on past life choices and see the reasons, or learn the lessons, and possess the ability to make changes necessary to move forward without regret. I am grateful for the health of my children, and for the fact that Cancer listens to me when I tell it that it is not welcome in my body or my mind. I am grateful for the ability to see the answers to whatever questions I have and not to have the fear and doubt cloud my judgement. I am thankful to God for removing Fear from my entire being.
This earth is so small in comparison to the rest of the universe, and sometimes I am especially grateful for recognizing how insignificant I am, yet how amazing it feels to have the ability to get up every morning and try something new again and feel limitless in my potential to change each day anyway. Not everyone has the rights or abilities I have; it would be a shame if I wasted my chances to keep chasing that sun.