Good Blood? Bad Blood? Stable Blood? It’s a Crazy Life, but still a Good Life

Hello 6.16.16 
Just love these numbers today!

Speaking of numbers… I won’t find out my treatment status numbers until the end of this month. This next week is my chemo break week (yippee!), so I’ll take labs mid week, then get back to Kyprolis infusions the last Monday and Tuesday of June. I meet with my Dr on Wednesday June 29 to consult. Will be interesting to see what myeloma has done this month, with my on-again, off-again Kyprolis/Dex schedule… Each month I get through a chemo cycle, I feel like I’ve completed a marathon. But a marathon that never ends. Cancer that never ends. Chemo that never ends.

I am constantly processing and analyzing how I am going to treat this monster for the rest of my life. Slow and steady, or more aggressive? Stay the course, or switch up meds as my numbers creep up?
My life has dwindled down so much, and I have so few days where I feel like doing much at all. I’m just so sick of feeling sick all the time. Such a strange way to live, considering how healthy, busy and full my life was pre-myeloma. Truly I am still mystified by my situation and abrupt changes physically, psychologically and professionally. Sorry I mention that all the time. But I go around shaking my head in disbelief so many moments, every day. 

I take my Dex steroids on Mon and Tues and head to the chemo lab for my Kyprolis infusions. So ironic, that on cancer treatment days, I actually feel the best, since I am propped up on steroids. Crazy stuff. I sometimes even feel a bit “normal”. That’s when I really question my circumstances and wonder what in the world happened to me. But then, I am fully reminded of “what happened to me” on my lovely crash days, such as today, when side effects abound. But, it is what it is, and my motto has always been, “you can’t control the things you can’t control, so analyze it, process it, examine it… and move forward… always forward”… 

Even when I see my diagnosis in writing, which is always…
It’s still so hard to process.. 6.5 years later…
Still so hard to process..

 Even when I’m hooked up to chemo along side my fellow patients-
It’s still so hard to accept I have cancer. Can you imagine this life?
But, I just do what I have to do, with robotic acceptance..

 Here’s my AMAZING chemo lab nurses-
Just love them so much! Beautiful ladies inside and out!
So dedicated and devoted to all us chemo patients.
Thank You for You in my life!

So not much more to report. 
I have cancer, incurable cancer. 
I’ll be on chemo for life. If one treatment stops working, on to another one. 
Always processing my status, my treatments, my options.
My life has radically changed, but I have much to be grateful for. There is so much beauty in this world that I am still privileged to experience.

I may not be able to do much away from my home, but I still have “purpose” in life. Purpose in saving other lives. Purpose in nurturing and caring for little lives that come my way. 
Here’s my most recent adoption project: 
These darling little chickies were hatched by a teacher friend of mine as a science project for her elementary class. Before they were incubated, I agreed to adopt any hatchlings. Here they are, just hatched, in their little incubator. The yellow striped one was born Sunday June 5, and the charcoal one on Monday June 6. Nature’s miracles! 

Here they are one week later when they were brought to me. I set them up in a cozy enclosure. How do you like my idea of the little swifter duster as their surrogate momma! Just look at their feathers and wings coming in already!

Nature’s instincts are just so amazing. These little chickies “just know” what to do. Instinct tells them to peck for food, drink water, snuggle together for warmth (yes I have a heat lamp for them!), even though they would “naturally” be snuggled under momma hen’s feathers. These little chickies “just know what to do”. So amazing to take part nurturing their lives! 

Cancer can’t steal these experiences from me!
 Very imprinted on us humans already. 
So adorable!!
And so I move forward. Always questioning, but always grateful for all the wonderful things in my life that cancer can’t steal away from me. Nature inspires me always.  

Here’s a few interesting myeloma links for you-

An ocean animal may save our lives! Sea Squirt (Aplidin) Clinical Trial Results Are Promising for Treating Relapsed/Refractory Myeloma

So I’m thinking, if I do need to switch off of Kyprolis to something else… maybe to Pom? Pomalidomide plus low-dose dex should be a standard of care for patients with relapsed/refractory myeloma

Check out these wonderful, helpful, informative myeloma links. 
Whether you are “new” to myeloma, or a “warrior” with “battle scars” like me, or a family member, friend of a patient, a colleague, etc, these websites offer infinite articles of current, amazingly helpful myeloma information: 

Myeloma Crowd: Awesome updates and support
Myeloma Beacon: Myeloma news and updates and blogs and articles  

The Cancer MoonShot 2020 Program 
Cancer MoonShot 2020

Thank you Revlimid for saving my life for 5.5 years! Jan 2010 – Oct 2015 

Thank you Kyprolis for saving my life since Nov 2015 to now 6.16.16! 
And of course, I have to mention and thank my best friend and worst enemy Dexamethasone!  

 Live happy,
live well, and make a difference somewhere, somehow, with someone or something
as often as you can!