Every year, three of my friends and I get together to review our Horoscopes for the year ahead. It would be fair to say that what happened to me in 2012 was not predicted, but then, I doubt the publication would sell as many magazines if it said all Geminis were going to get an incurable form of cancer, break a few bones and have a lonely bed. I am not cynical, I am sure there are some Geminis out there who had incredibly successful, marvellous and orgasmic 2012′s. Mind you, I am not inclined to do a survey.

2013′s Prediction Session is on Thursday of this week. I am somewhat nervous about it, it could literally all end in tears (sorry Guys), but as I have always done it, I shall do it again. Just another case of me sticking my fingers up at the stupid myeloma. I’ll live my life goddamit. Maybe not by horoscope… but it is quite a fun thing to do on a school night . You never know, I could receive some really good news, which will definitely come true over the next 12 months. Mos def.

In preparation of Thursday night’s ritual, I have just reviewed last year’s key points, which I could do because I felt the need to minute the event. To be clear, it is not because I am a geek, it is because I had just received at iPad for Christmas. At the time my notes seemed clear and concise, but reading them today has made me worry that all the minutes I have ever taken are essentially a stream of consciousness of somebody starved of sex. You’ll see what I mean… I also took a photo.


Love and romance

Jupiter in your sign from 11 June until the end of the year.
Good times. safe sex.
3 April – 7 August – Venus.
15 May – 7 June – reverse
Question whether I am in lurve.. Rethink.
Love is going to get better and better. Butterflies. Orgasm. Stink flower.
Love will find me on the Southbank.
4 June – a bad day in love.
No threesomes.
Follow heart. Instinct.

Career and cash

A prosperous year thanks to Jupiter.
Inspiration. The friends will support from the sidelines (Livvy)
June is good.
Lots of confidence.
Luck is your friend.
3 February – 27 June 2026 – good stuff will happen.
Be true to heart.
Have honour. No corruption.

Friends and family

Mars is around until 3 July.
DIY. Get a servant.
I am conceptual, not practical.
Tantrums. Passions will run high with the family. Be passive aggressive.
Sprinkled with extra glitter – get to travel.
New foreign friends


If I am reaching, some of this has come true. Evidently, Luck has been a very, very, very good friend. I am, however, somewhat worried about what will happen on 28 June 2026…

Must dash, I have to assess the progress of those who were born in the year of the Rat.