It’s been a busy week and I’m pretty shattered now, but I have to say it’s been pretty productive.
Tuesday was appointment day so Nick and I trekked down to the Marsden in Surrey in eager anticipation of my BMB (bone marrow biopsy)! I got there and gave blood to find out that I wasn’t due a doctor’s appointment after all. Typical because it was the first week that I had a few questions to ask, largely about the fact that I have been experiencing hot flushes for the last few weeks. Nothing hugely major in the grand schemes, but they make me hugely hot for a few minutes at a time and, in a rather lovely manner, bring me out in a nice little sweat sometimes! Now I know from what I have read that there is a chance of a transplant and chemo bringing on the menopause, and without going into detail, I won’t know if that’s me without hormone checks.
So, on Tuesday, I asked to speak with my lovely specialist nurse Sharon. I had assumed she would know what to do and what was happening, but what I had forgotten was that they don’t have that many young people going through their doors, and the chances of them being female and going into early menopause is even smaller! So basically she didn’t know much more than me, but sent off an extra blood sample to test those pesky hormones. Anyway, I got the results on Thursday evening and it looks like there is a chance that I am going through an early menopause. One result would suggest I am, and the other gives me a chance of reprieval! Anyway, Sharon wasn’t sure exactly what it meant or where I should go from here and has gone to the gynae specialist to find out more although I don’t really want a formal referral or it will mean more appointments down in Surrey – our petrol costs are going through the roof!
I’m not sure how I feel about the whole thing. Myeloma basically put a kybosh (is that how you spell it??!!) on the idea of any more children – it wouldn’t be fair to have more knowing that they would probably grow up without a mummy for most of their life. It’s hard enough knowing that Sam and Rebecca won’t have me as long as we always expected, but at least with them we didn’t know that would be the case up front. If we hadn’t had children, maybe we would feel differently, but we have 2 lovely kiddies and are very lucky – and we wouldn’t push that luck. Anyway, so myeloma stopped the idea of more kids and so the menopause shouldn’t be an issue. But somehow it is. It makes it all so final. I think I need to try to embrace it (and hope it doesn’t last too long!) and then maybe it won’t seem so bad.
So, after seeing the nurse I went for my BMB. They had said I could have two lots of diazipam and that was good so I went in feeling much more relaxed about the whole thing. An then to make it even better, I was offered gas and air too! I had that when I had my PICC line put in for my transplant and it made a big difference. I think half of it is that you breathe better with gas and air. And you have something to bite down onto when the pain does kick in!! So for the second time, I have to say, it wasn’t too bad. I don’t think it will ever be pain free, but it was as good as it could ever be. And now we wait. Results come back on the 25th. Can’t say I’m looking forward to that.
In the meantime, I am trying to keep busy. I am currently arranging a Craft and tabletop sale in aid of Myeloma UK with the aim of raising over £500! That is in November and I feel really positive about it, as much as anything because we have great raffle prizes and should be able to make lots from that alone. If anyone is interested who isn’t local you can buy raffle tickets at £1 each at www.justgiving.com/DebFraserGascoyne. (Although if I’m honest, a lot of prizes are from local companies – but we do have wine, coffee makers, nando’s vouchers etc). I’m also trying to start organising a Glitz and Glamour Ball for November 2012 so we’re looking for a good venue in and around High Wycombe at the moment. No rest…….well just a bit!