Early Morning Chatter

Good Morning.  It is a beautiful morning here in New Hampshire.  Despite the warm temperatures, everything looks nice green thanks to the powerful storm that rolled in last night.  I found myself sandwiched in bed this morning between Mike and Sarah staring at the ceiling wide awake.  So I decided to come downstairs and enjoy the silence and try to write a bit.  Today I have my follow up appointment with Dr. Munshi at Dana Farber.  We will discuss the results from my bone marrow biopsy.  This is the first biopsy since my transplant in November.  Mike and I have decided to take the kids into Boston with us so that they can meet the incredible Dr. Munshi and take a tour of the new Dana Farber Institute.  We are also going to take advantage of being down in Boston and hang out at Faneuil Hall.  We are expecting positive news so we thought it would be a good time to bring them down.  Let’s hope my expectations are right!

Summer in New Hampshire has been great.  The weather has been beautiful and we already enjoyed many beautiful days down the lake.  My mom recently flew back home to Florida after a wonderful 6 week visit. We loved having Nana here and we all miss her so much.  My mom and dad have really been so supportive and incredible to us this past year. They have been here so much that Brookline has become their second home.  I think my mom knows half the town!  While she was here she was the biggest cheerleader at my son Mitch’s All Star Baseball Games.  And she watched them come in first place in their last tournament.  We are heading to State’s this coming weekend!  Mitch’s 10 year old All Star Team is like a Dream Team. It is made up of incredible baseball players and the coaches couldn’t be any greater!  We are getting pumped up for the big weekend!

Last week my friend Kristin lost her battle with cancer.  Kristin was a beautiful vibrant woman.  She had just turned 40 and was a mother to two beautiful small children.  Kristin and I were friends in college.  She was diagnosed with a rare carcinoma in March, 2010.  When Kristin heard of my diagnosis she reached out to us last summer.  Her strength and courage amazed me and fueled me.  We spent lots of time talking on the phone.  We totally got each other.  We spoke about our frustrations, our fears and we cried together.  Last year, while at Dana Farber, I ran into Kristin.  It was the first time we had seen each other since college.  There we both were in the waiting room bald cancer patients.  When our eyes met, we both filled up with tears held each other, and said, “how the hell has this happened to us?”  It was a moment I will never forget.  I don’t think I have ever felt more connected to anyone so quickly in my life.  Mike and I had a chance to meet her wonderful husband Brian and we talked about the four of us getting together.  Well, unfortunately we never got to.  Last week, cancer won and took the life of my beautiful friend.  I still am having such a hard time comprehending it.  I stood in line for over 1 1/2 hours to pay my respects at the Wake.  The Funeral Home was filled with all the people Kristin has touched in her lifetime.  While there I couldn’t help but think, why am I standing here and she is lying in that coffin? It just didn’t make sense.  She was a strong positive woman with an incredible faith who was determined to beat this awful disease. Why didn’t she make it?  And why am I doing so well?  I spent time speaking with her husband and family about how Kristin’s strength had enriched my life so much.  Her father-in-law read me like a book.  And reached out and held my hand and said, “This must be so difficult for you!  I know how scared this must make you.  But just remember more people make it than don’t.”  Tears rolled down my face as I squeezed his hand.

The next day was the funeral.  It was a beautiful celebration of Kristin’s life.  Her sisters and friends got up and spoke about her and shared beautiful stories and moments that they had with her during her lifetime.  The way Kristin approached her cancer with her positive spirit and her desire to be “The Best at Cancer” reminded me so much of myself.   I am left so sad that ugly cancer won and took this beautiful soul from earth.  It does not make sense to me at all.  Everyday I find myself thinking of Kristin.  She was a positive spirit right to the end.  She was determined not to let cancer rob her of her precious moments while on earth.  She worked real hard at staying present and enjoying all the gifts and blessings of life.  Although her life was cut way too short, I truly believe her life was so rich with love.  Her death is a reminder to me of how very precious life is .  I know I am so fortunate to be here today.  The fact that I can wake up every morning without any bone pain and spend the day being an active mom to my four beautiful babies overwhelms me with such joy.

Well I can here little footsteps upstairs.  It looks like my day is about to begin.  My appointment is at 1:30 today so send me some positive energy if you can!  Enjoy your day!