Crazy Part Two!

Today I’m here to tell you about
Crazy Decision Number Two:
We’re planning a trip to Disney World. Now, I know that’s not really a crazy decision, although after we got the credit card bill for our prepaid vacation package, Jay and I were all, “Whaaaaaat? We did whaaaaaaaaaat? Were we drunk?”* I specifically instructed Jay not to look directly at the credit card bill, but rather to just get a sense of it and then look away. ** Jay ended up looking at it, though, and he curled up in a ball and temporarily went blind. I think he’s going to be OK once we can carry him onto the Star Tours ride. Maybe.
So, yes, millions of people go to Disney World all the time, so this is not really a crazy decision, but it is making me crazy. And, yes, I realize this is a lame problem. I should just go to Disney World and have the time of my life and shut up. I mean, I’ve been to Disney before, but this time I can’t stop buying guide books:

If you’ve never read a Disney guide book, here’s what you need to know: Disney guide books love to tell you — gleefully — that if you don’t have a detailed plan for touring Disney World, your entire life is ruined and your child will hate you. After extensive reading, I am now convinced — convinced — that if we’re not on the flying Dumbo ride within two seconds of the Magic Kingdom opening, we will all die.
Suddenly, everyone you know who has been to Disney World within the past few years becomes a goldmine of “tips.” Everyone wants to share their tips with you, and everyone is dead serious about their Disney tips. My favorite tip so far came from another first-grade mother I ran into at a birthday party: “If you want to see Rapunzel, you get there before the park opens. As soon as they drop the rope (dramatic pause),