Christmas on hold

Ok, so I’ve held off posting for the past couple of weeks because I am so conscious that all I ever seem to do on here is winge about how rubbish things are going. And the last two weeks have been pretty awful. But at least now, I’m not quite as depressed about it as I was a couple of days ago, so whilst I might not be full of Christmas cheer, I might not make you totally miserable

So what’s been going on? Well, starting nearly two weeks ago, I came down with a terrible fluey feeling. I was totally wiped out, felt achey all over and just couldn’t stay out of bed. I’d hoped it would just be a 24 hour thing, but it looks like someone has other plans for me as I’m still ill now. I’m not quite so bad, but have basically been housebound since then, Christmas shopping is on hold (thank god I’d done most of it beforehand!) and none of the local christmas cards have been given out.

I did go to the hospital on Tuesday to get checked over, but with no temperature and no other cold symptoms, and after xrays and an ECG, all they could say was that they felt it was viral. On Friday the results for that came back negative. I can’t tell you how awful that felt. I just wanted to know what was wrong with me. Apparently it could still be viral and be something they haven’t tested for. Hmmm. So I’ve been made to promise that I’ll go back down on Monday if I’m still ill with it…..looking sadly possible. It’s just not ideal as I can’t really expect Nick to take time off work, but it isn’t particularly safe me driving a 3 hour round trip on the M25 when I feel so bad.

I feel pretty terrible because the poor kids haven’t been able to do any of the things I’d planned for them. I’d been so organised so that we could do loads of stuff in December, and to date that has hardly happened. I know that they’ll forget pretty quick, but I sort of want them to remember Christmas as being a fun time – I mean, for gods sake, it’s the only time I get the arts and crafts stuff out in the year! lol!

Anyway, today Nick has taken the kids down to MY family Christmas do while I stay at home sat on the sofa. I’ve felt ever so slightly better today, but am flagging now so perhaps an expectation to wake up and it all to be gone, is slightly unrealistic. I have to remember that I have a compromised immune system now, and that even though I might have the same number of white blood cells etc as the rest of you, that they aren’t quite tip top in quality. So fighting infections is tougher. And recovery is going to be longer. But it has really drummed home to me for the first time, how important it is that I stay away from ill people wherever possible. When I catch something, boy do I catch it!

The only other thing to say though is how great Nick and the kids have been. Nick was ill too last weekend and has had an awful hacking cough this week. But despite that, he has managed to go to work, sort out the kids for school, cook, iron and do the packed lunches! As my lovely friend and I would say…TLN (The lovely Nick) has been promoted to TELN – just add the word extremely!! I am so so lucky to have such an amazing friend as my husband. He is such a support to me, and deals with what is thrown at us in the most extraordinary way. As corny as it may sound, he is the thing that keeps me going through the thick and thin, and he is the person that pulls me back from the darkest depths when I need that. I love him to pieces and just wish I didn’t have to put him through it all.

So Christmas is still on hold and people might not be getting the homemade goodies from the kids this year, but hopefully it won’t be held against us. And crossed fingers, this horrible viral thing is going to slowly disappear this week so that we can have some time to enjoy as a family this Christmas.