When I started this blog more than four years ago I promised always to tell how it is for a Carer of someone with MM. It was important for me that my poems conveyed a little story of the days that unfolded on this journey. Sometimes the truth of my feelings may hurt more than at other times. I try to think of other MM sufferers, I truly do. Then of course those that maybe hurt by my thoughts here, will not subscribe. So I continue through these most difficult days. The following two verses describe my feelings during a very lovely birthday weekend for Hamada. Our son Jo spent a special time with his Father, we had a celebratory meal together and all in all it was a perfect weekend. Except for one thing although I suppose I have always seen Hamada through ‘rose tinted glasses’. I could now see clearly what I suppose others can see and have notice for some time, visual changes to my dear man’s face.
Extract from “Changes”
The once thought improbable
is happening Darling Man,
I cannot close my eyes
to forget these brown eyes fading,
I cannot shut my mind for all I need
I cannot shut my mind for all I need
is to see your smile.
These brutal changes tear at your resistance
this beloved face is changing
dissolving and vanishing from view
but never from my heart.
I can at last, see this Beast Within.
Changes… So many changes…
All Rights Reserved November 2010
Unabridged version of “Changes” is now on http://www.susiehemingway.com