Good Shit – Cornershop
Has it really been over a week since I blogged? I’m not sure what to say.
There are two amazing things about feeling better.
The first is that it can compound on itself. One month ago, when I unplugged from the hospital, I was feeling good, except for the fatigue. But there is really no comparison between then and now. If I felt better then, that was nothing compared to how much better I feel now. I have energy now (most of the time). My muscle ache is diminishing. I can swim 40 lengths. I can run, tentatively (on a machine, I haven’t tried the unforgiving earth yet). I can go out and about largely as I please – even spend the day looking after Lyndon (we went to a play group yesterday). Even my back is much much better (though still a work in progress). But I suspect I still don’t yet feel anywhere near 100% of what I can – I guess there’s more dimensions of better coming.
The second amazing thing is, looking back, if I feel so much better, just quite how bad was it before? Thank goodness I was never really aware of how bad the bad times were.
It is like being reborn. I’d encourage you all to experience it – except to really appreciate it you’d have to go through the whole build up – broken back and bone pain/ velcade, steroids and high dose melphalan/ sickness and side effects/ loss of hair and digestive tract/ fevers and no immunity/ anaemia and transfusions/ fatigue and muscle weakness… Maybe not, eh?
As a celebration of rebirth, here’s a pic of my azalea. In a normal year it is the first thing in our garden to flower – often before the end of March. This year it, like me, has been feeling the cold, but it is just beginning to turn heads.