Being Alone

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I’ve never lived alone. I was married at 18 and went from living with my parents to living with Mr. B. That was almost 37 years ago.

Since Mr. B became so ill with MM, I’ve struggled whenever I thought about losing him. I don’t know how to see myself as a single person. It scares me. And it’s not that I’m afraid of being alone in my home. Mr. B’s job required him to work nights every two weeks so I was used to sleeping alone. But that didn’t bother me because I knew he would be finished with that in two weeks.

I’m afraid of having to redefine myself as a single person. Having to go to social events alone. Or going shopping alone. Or even going out to eat alone. I’m afraid that I will start to withdraw because it will just be less uncomfortable to just stay home instead of facing my fears and going out.

Today on Facebook one or my friends shared this video. It’s called, “How To Be Alone”. It really spoke to my heart and encouraged me to face my fears. Please take the time to watch it. You won’t be sorry.