Beam me up Scotty

So here I sit in my parallel universe, a space like world floating in the heart of what is probably one of the most advanced hospitals in the world. The University College Hospital London (UCLH)-The Macmillan Cancer Centre. Now this place wasn’t designed on the back of a fag packet, every tiny detail has been meticulously thought out to ensure the surreal experience is as comfortable and as efficient as possible for all concerned (or so it seems).

Every now and then I chuckle to myself as I imagine Richard Hammond (from the secret service camera programme) is going to emerge from one of the pods and tell me it’s all part of a terribly big joke and the laughs on me. Unfortunately the cannula sticking out of my left hand sharply pulls me back to reality (well a weird sort of half reality). Perhaps it’s Derren Brown who pushes the boundaries to it’s limits in his psychological experiments. Just maybe I’m a guinea pig  being used to monitor the effects of bad news on the human psyche? I will take it all in good grace and thank him for the experience and learning opportunity.
Sadly I think not and very soon one of the girls in blue will glide across the polished concrete with my first dose of carefully concocted super juice (chemo).
As part of my pre- assessment check I was asked about any changes I had noticed in my libido. Just so you know a diagnosis of cancer doesn’t send hormones rushing to those delicate places but I so wanted to say “funnily enough since they told me I had Cancer I can’t get enough of it”
Today I had to do a pregnancy test, come on this can’t be real. In a way I wish I was pregnant I could then be sure there was a divine intervention at play. I could believe I really was part of the Matrix and I had been impregnated through the locket I was sucking on the way down to London today with an alien being.
Alas no I sit around with Colin by my side surrounded by other folks tapping away on iPads or laptops, writing blogs or catching up with the latest news from planet earth.