Back in my Own Bed…..

Was released from the hospital on Sunday afternoon, after arriving there about 11:00 AM on Thursday. The Readers Digest condensed version of what happened: Received my 1st velcade infusion on Friday the 10th. Felt ok and then as I had written, started running a fever and feeling weaker and weaker as each day went by, to the point I was holding onto walls and using a cane when I walked. EVERYTHING was a struggle. I was supposed to receive my 2nd infusion of velcade the following tues, but called the office and told them how I felt and that I had been running a fever and they said no to the infusion and made me an appt to see the doctor the next day (wed). Went through the usual routine of blood etc and it turns out my WBC (which have never been an issue until today) were 1.2 and normal is 4.0. That means with the temp it’s called a neutrapenic fever which is a life threatening condition. The hospital didn’t have a bed for me that day (required a private room b/c of all the precautions needed with this issue) , so doctor filled me up with 3 hours of IV drugs to get me through the nite and admitted me for the next day. I won’t go into all of the gory details of the hospital stay, let’s just say it’s just horrid being in the hospital. I don’t know how you are supposed to heal in such an environment. You can’t sleep, the food is horrible, the tubes and Iv’s all over, people in and out all day and nite…..and that’s just part of it. Each and every moment I was there, all I wanted was to come back home and be in my own bed, with my coffee, take meds on my timetable etc etc. Needless to say, I was thrilled when they gave me the ok to go home on sunday afternoon. I was to follow up with blood at the office on Monday so that’s what I did, and WBC back in normal range, RBC a bit low, but nothing requiring intervention BUT my platelet count is super low right now. Normal is 140 and my count is 40! He said we’ll wait till I see him on my Thursday appt and if they are still at crisis level, I’ll need to have a platelet transfusion. This shit is really getting old. After being in remission and feeling good for 10 months, this relapse has just not given me a break. It has truly been one thing right after or in conjunction with another. Between all the UTI’s, transfusions and now a hospital stay under my belt, well all this has happened in the last 6 months so it is truly wearing me out. I need to string together a bunch of good days for a break and have time to recoup. Mentally and physically, it’s just a struggle to day by day get through the last 6 months with all this stuff going on. What a cunning and baffling and unrelenting disease this is. We must never take for granted even one second of feeling well…..ever. I am feeling a bit better today, being my 2nd day home, but of course, I did over do it yesterday (monday, after getting home from hosp on sunday) b/c I had the doc appt and then decided to just grab a few things from the grocery store while I was out, which then in turn, I was like, hell, I’m here and I don’t know how I’ll be feeling so I’d better grocery shop, so that’s what I did. By the time I got home I was so whipped, I could barely bring the groceries in and put them away, but now it’s done and me and the dogs have food :) Today I am just chillin and plan on doing the same thing tomorrow. Have to be at doctors at 11:00 am on Thursday, so me and the doc have alot of talking to do to figure out where we go from here, since velcade didn’t like me too much. Maybe we’ll play with the dosage, but it scares the hell out of me to try it again, after what I just went through. No pain no gain, right? Who thought up that crappy way, anyway?