“Happiness comes from… some curious adjustment to life.” … Huge Walpole, Sr.
And just as we have had to make adjustments for him…..I’ve made them for myself. No longer do I feel that I can “jump in the car” and go somewhere. Even though he would probably be okay, I don’t leave him alone for very long periods of time. That’s an “adjustment” that I haven’t been very successful in making for myself – that feeling that he shouldn’t be alone. I’m working on that one!
As another caregiver/blogger wrote, life tends to become a balancing act. We begin to realize that life isn’t what it once was. We do what we can, when we can. We make adjustments. We often make plans that are unable to be kept.
Things that my honey once did, or were his responsibility, have (in many cases) either become mine…..or often just don’t get done. He isn’t supposed to lift anything that weighs more than 10 lbs. That’s quite an adjustment for him, and he doesn’t always adhere to that restriction. After all, it isn’t very “manly” to allow a woman to do the lifting of heavier stuff……like a case of bottled water, etc.
Accustomed to going wherever we wanted, whenever we wanted, is no longer possible. My honey is unable to ride long distances (we loved road trips), unable to sit for very long, unable to stand for very long, unable to walk very far ……. you get the picture. We’ve had to adjust for all these new inabilities.
As Sean Murray, another MM “victim” and blogger, wrote in his column in The Myeloma Beacon, we’ve had to “say goodbye” to life as we knew it.
We’re learning to balance this life with the days, weeks, months, and hopefully years that my honey has left. It isn’t easy to “say goodbye” to the life we knew and enjoyed. Probably the best adjustment has been to learn to enjoy the life we have. Treasure each and every day. Take nothing for granted.
Happiness absolutely is whatever curious adjustments you need to make….to your life (let’s just hope YOUR life doesn’t include MM!)