New Insurance, co-pays, deductibles and upcoming tests!

I have not posted in a month, now filled with frustration.  My annual policy from employer paid insurance has changed.  I now have a higher deductible and co-pays which covers ‘out patient tests’ at rates subject to the deductible and copay’s….. So I am now having my local oncologist do my tests exclusively since they are covered at the copay amount because inexplicably they are sent to an outside lab, which medical billing coding, codes at rates payable cheaper….. How is that for logic and fairness!!!

So the research that has been done on me will be affected.  The usable results will have to wait for my annual UAMS trip in October!  I will be monitored every two months and It “MM” will not develop quickly without my oncologist’s knowledge.

My next round is coming up,  SPEP and UPEP and all the other wonderful tests!
Ah, the waiting on pins and needles!
More later,


UAMS Research \ Black Swan initiative and Publicity

I was sad to hear of Tom Brokaw’s diagnosis, he joins the thousands like many here who are in the forefront of confronting this disease.  I hope Mayo does a bang up job and helps him with his particular type and kind of Myeloma.
     He expressed a desire to keep his treatment, type and kind private and as a personal matter.  I understand his concern, however, with any public figure his diagnosis can bring much needed publicity and funding for research to this cancer.

     I urge him to become more outgoing with both his therapy and with fund raising!   It can only help to add his name to the legions raising awareness and much needed funds for research.   He is a reminder of the many including Sam Walton, Geraldine Ferraro, Anne Landers, Roy Schieder and those countless individuals dear to us who have preceded in the struggle.   It is the publicity that gets the attention and makes this scourge a quest for a cure like the efforts in  breast cancer.  He must think about the future and helping the generations to come who will inevitably be stricken with Multiple Myeloma.  We urge that quest upon him and to enlist his help.

Latest test results Jan 20, 2014

My m-protein remains the same at 1.2 g/dl my ratios of Kappa/Lamda remain high and my Kappa free light chain serum remain up…. My doctors tell me that so long as my m-protein does not start shooting up from test to test all is well!!!!!

Beating up a cancer patient!!!!!

I have been keeping up with the criticism of the Keller’s, Bill and wife Emma who wrote separate articles ridiculing cancer blogger/twitter writer Lisa Adams.  Lisa Adams has stage IV breast cancer which now is in her bones. She tweats regularly and has many readers, she has  posted everything about her experience with this cancer and has helped herself and others understand it better.

Bill and Emma Keller, see the New York Times editorial of his and her “The Guardian” article for her.
Each are unrelenting ASSHOLES.

He talks about how his father-in-law went quietly not prolonging his life or torturing himself or his family.  In effect, not wasting expensive medical care.  Mr. Keller suggests the same for Ms. Adams.  His wife criticizes Ms. Adams for writing about her cancer as in effect “death bed selfies” and TMI!

2 Points should be made!
Mr. Keller:
It is Ms. Adams’ life to live not yours and for you to pontificate from on high on how she should live it is bullying and shitty.
Ms. Keller:
Walk a mile in her shoes, not your mild, treatable cancer, Ms. Keller, from which you easily survived but one like Ms. Adams’.  A cancer from which survival longterm is slim.  Your response is especially troubling since you equate curable cancers with incurable all in the same breath.

Shame on both of you and a pox upon your blighted views.  May each of you not walk a mile in Ms. Adams shoes or you might learn something about truly living life and helping others to cope!

January 12, 1975

That day I spent alone in the woods.  It dawned cold and crisp with snow in the air.  By the next day we had 6 inches of snow and 5 degree tempertures.  It was Sunday just like today? Ironic at least.
My mother and Aunt went to church , I declined.  Atheism’s roots and lingering doubt, abounding.  I climbed a nearby rock cliff and stood upon the near rock and saw and felt snow in the air.   Oh, now to reflect back to then.  I spent all morning there climbing and pulling myself up to nearby trees and thinking nothing….no worry just enjoyment of the moment.  My collie-shepard dog Hobo digging out a ground squirrel under a rock ledge nearby.   I now long to enjoy that again.   I can now even here sitting in my chair  40 years later remember the free feeling.  Being young,

I know I should not dwell upon the past, but 12 years old is such a good time…. actually a great time!  No cares, except adolescent ones.   Those cares though present, then pale to now!

The peace of solitude

I sit now, alone in my chair.   Thinking about life and its meaning.  Wishing and hoping for more life.
But knowing it may not be so.  I understand I have hurt others, my family and friends but desiring their foregiveness of which I am not worthy!  Perhaps they shall bare with me… I contemplate in solitude.

January 1, 2014

This day has always been a time to reflect and note things.   My first remembrance surrounding this date in particular was 1970.  Later in 1980 I spent the night with my first girlfriend.  In 1986 my mentor Donald M. Heavrin, Attorney at Law told me, “This is the last day of 1986 remember it and me telling you this”  And I have!
I remember taking a walk in 1988, it was warm and sunny in Downtown Louisville KY , studying for the Bar exam.  I remember 2003 calling my first ex-wife and missing her badly.
Down through the years I vaguely remember drunken parties having the next day a massive hangover from too much whisky.
I will seek a memory of today,  perhaps it will be a walk weather permitting or something different,  I do not know!?  Now I go to feast upon my famous Cabbage casserole, Great Northern beans and monks bread….it is all I eat on this day since 1989? near about?

1st. Amendment and Bigotry in America

This article in webnews explains how the haters petition to bring back the A& E personage to his show
demonstrates Bigotry and a lack of understanding of the US Constitution.
Sarah Palin and Gov. Jindal, both hacks for right wing extremists said, “It is a violation of First Amendment Rights.”
Wrong Again !!!!
The government has passed no law, “restricting freedom of speech.”!
A & E is NOT the government!
The great unwashed and the great mob of ignorant people who lead lives of quiet desperation hating as many people as they can who are different from them and those same ignorant people following their religion which spouts hatred of groups not in favor with their ilk,
will finds themselves consigned to the ash heap of history.  Right alongside the Klan, witch burners, medieval torturers and racists who banned interacial marriage and wanted to reinstate institutional slavery!  And haters who cannot stand that we have an African American president!

Duck ignorance, hatred and US Const. Amend. 1

Recently there has been much said about this, the ignorance and hatred spat out by a tv show personality.

I urge all of you to read the First Amendment to the US Constitution.   It is the government that is restricted from establishing a religion or restricting the free exercise thereof……NOT A& E

THE IDIOTS THAT SHOUT A  FREE SPEECH VIOLATION have never read nor do they understand free speech…..
That yahoo on TV can shout all his hatred he wants on HIS OWN DIME not on a private corporations
non-governmental tv show that wants to fire his ASS.


He can go out, buy billboards, stand on any street corner and yell all he wants about his views!


Contemplation and aloneness is a good thing


      It is this joyous time, when feasting and merriment abound that many feel most bummed out.
I too am such a person, who really has to struggle with each passing year to keep my spirits up!

     Perhaps I need a visit from Dickens’ Three ghosts to reorient my mind, but I doubt that would help.
I have been, how do we say it, not myself since my diagnosis February 27, 2009 with the precursor to Myeloma.  The same cancer killed my father and my brother.  It is difficult to dismiss that out of mind and daily it is a dark cloud above me.    I am like “Little Abner” in the cartoon who had the rain cloud above him always.

     It does not help that my children are grown.  I always enjoyed their christmas excitement when they opened their presents and played all day in the house.  Jaded young adults, obsessed with boyfriends or working constantly are not as fun or cheery as 5 yr olds!  I have bought  each of them cars  and am sending one to an expensive private college….to no apparent avail or much appreciation.  

     Perhaps I should have been like Ebenzer Scrooge and shut myself off from the world, extended no warmth to mankind and miserly spent my own money.  Living alone, thinking alone, existing alone would now have been no different in middle age than if I had not tried to venture forth as a young man and live life to the fullest.

     I believe that is why I enjoyed my retreat at the Abbey,  I existed on bare minimums, did what I wanted when I wanted.  I had very little human contact or contact of any kind save with nature.
I hiked in the woods alone…….

     Frankly I did not think as much about  the “Emperor of All Maladies” to steal a title of from the book about cancer.  Sequeststration of oneself is a good thing for me….. I must return to it by now having more alone time.   I find I am happier alone, have always been as a child growing up on a farm where the nearest neighbor was 2 miles away.

     I had only my dogs and horses for company on the farm, I ventured out , alone almost daily  and talked to no one.  It will be hard to do this now built I vow to start and accomplish this in 2014