The Pro’s and Con’s

Before I start treatment today I thought I might drop down a few pro’s and con’s of having cancer just in case the pro’s don’t so easily come to mind when the scores on the board start to increase!  

Ok you might be wondering what possible advantages could there be, I mean nobody in the right mind would choose cancer would they? (I do however know plenty of people who increase the risk) The bottom line is, I haven’t got any choice in the matter so in my usual Pollyanerish way I thought I would explore some of my own personal  pro’s and a few disadvantages. Obviously all cancer’s are different and just in the same way people are different so are the response’s and type’s of cancer you have.
However please take note some of these observations may be worth you considering whether you are entering a parallel universe or not ( and I sincerely hope your not!)
So here are some of the benefits in no particular order.
1. I have been given the chance to re- evaluate my life and really work out what’s important.
2. I have had time to notice and be thankful for the lovely people around who really do and probably always have loved and cared about me. I was just too wrapped up in my own self esteem issues to see or acknowledge this before now.
3. I have more time to spend with the family and friends I may have previously neglected in the pursuit of my career.
4. I am not entitled to any benefits because I really do earn enough money, even if cancer does come with its own expenses.
5. I do however get free prescriptions and was given a free digital thermometer.  Nurses especially like a free gift!
6. I get to be brave enough to try out a new short trendy haircut and realise I should have done it years ago!
7. Little things that I fancy matter more  ( and I don’t feel so guilty for buying them) for example, a new soft towel, cashmere socks, an extra lead for my iPad, a new triangle pillow, a hair dye wand, and that pretend Harrods bag from eBay, the list is endless and what joy I am going to have getting them all and dreaming up plenty more prizes (as my friend Jaqui would say)
8. Experiencing a top class hospital and feeling the great sense of pride working for the NHS.
9. Understanding what Macmillan services and nurses really do and how wonderful they are.
10. Having the time and opportunity to write this blog.
11. Losing the weight I have been trying to get off for years
12. Making new friends throughout the world who are going through similar experiences or just care and understand.
I’m sure there are lots more but that will do for now so here goes with a few negatives just to even things out a bit.
1. The thought of actually being quite sick, the fear of pain and not being able to cope
2. Knowing and feeling the sadness in the people around me as they equally try to come to terms with the situation.
3.Realising that there are so many people with this horrible disease and we still don’t have a magic cure.
4. That out of control feeling.
5. Being faced with death is like being slapped with a wet fish directly in your face, not that I  have ever  had that happen to me but I could imagine it being  particularly nasty and smelly!
5. It took Cancer to opens my eyes!


Today’s News

Rough night last night as I felt the full effects from the Zometa infusion. So experienced flu like symptoms with a high temperature. I am hoping this isn’t a sign of things to come! However it was lovely to see both daughters and my grandson today.  I also thoroughly enjoyed my bath because of the luxury towels my friends Sue and Angela bought round yesterday.  I am also grateful to Victoria, who very patiently got me up to speed with wordpress so I could get this blog published today

My first four days of chemo starts tomorrow so I hope the snow doesn’t hold us back.

Today’s scores on the board are Physical Health (PH) = 3 and Mental Health (MH) = 2

Not bad all things considering!

Welcome to the Parallel Universe 2013-01-20 08:43:51

I am putting this blog together in order to help me keep as mentally sane as possible whilst embarking on the journey of a lifetime (or so it seems) I am hoping this will enable me feel less alone and will help others in some small way. The transition from clinician to patient, care giver to care receiver isn’t an easy one to make.  I will be reporting on the NHS from the other side but all views are my own. I shall be using scaling to monitor both my physical and mental health state. I welcome your comments and really do appreciate you keeping in touch.2 scales


A quick summary of events

18th Jan – MUGA (heart test), Full body MRI, Zometa infusion, spine MRI

15th Jan-  Back to hospital for more tests and sign consent form

10th Jan – My 50th Birthday- lovely time spent with a small group of family and friends

9th Jan – Hospital Appointment to discuss latest results and PADIMAC trial and bone biopsy