Little Arithmetics – dEUS
So I am relapsing, but oh so very slowly. Which is the very best way to relapse, and I think I’ve got my head round that now. (“Falling, with style“?) After some anxious months, I’m regaining my “Whatever!“. Ironic that today I am offered a place in a “fear of relapse” course. Not sure I’ll attend. To be honest, I can’t be bothered counting the score, let alone doing the analysis, right now.
We – DrC and I – permit ourselves a bit of philosophical chat and crystal ball gazing. I’m increasingly optimistic that it will be early 2017 before I end off back in treatment.
I’m beginning to wonder if DrC has had some kind of bedside manner transplant (a different BMT, rather than a bone marrow transplant?) He says, again, that he is optimistic for me; that there are many options for me. Then he spoils it slightly with a joke about
“standing in the graveyard saying ‘oh, we were wrong’“
and finishes off with a statement of the most clumsy profundity
“Of course, not having the myeloma is better“.
But I feel he is progressing on his own journey with myeloma, in parallel with mine.
One reason I may be feeling healthier is that I haven’t done much work in the last few weeks – a coinciding of natural pauses in my various jobs and responsibilities. I don’t feel very much urgency about this. As long as this intermission continues I wish only to enjoy living.
So while the days are long, even if life is short, you’ll find me basking in the southern Sussex sun.