Anger at the wind!

Perhaps I should explain myself.   I am angry almost constantly.  In the past almost 5 yrs since my diagnosis I have grown increasingly bitter and just plain pissed off.    From the early “why me?”
to the later rationlizations for cancer and its seeming desire to pick on my family,  I have grown oh so bitter.   This bitterness has not abated but grown full into a daily and in fact nightly drubbing of my conscious and unconscious mind.  During the day I am pissed and at night in my dreams I am thinking about people both professionally and personal who have wronged me!
In truth it is haunting me endlessly.  I feel like a murder of crows are flying around me, lighting on me and pecking me to death!
Has anyone else felt or feels that way?