This is my second week of my 3 weeks on and 2 weeks off, and already I feel a little more fatigued. Sometimes I forget that my days cannot be stretched out for the full 12 hours. Yesterday and two days ago, I could manage to be up and about till after lunch. I was feeling the effect of lunch almost immediately after eating, it’s almost like the food filled up so much of me that I had to breath rather hard. I am very cautious about not eating everything on my plate and always asked for a smaller helping or half, but there are times I forget and I “pay” for the discomfort. I will have to get up and extend my “bloated” tummy. I have been feeling a bit more sleepy, so reluctantly I need to get to bed in the afternoon to rest. P reminded me that this is how I am at the end of second week and third week is no better. Of course it is frustrating when there are activities in the evening and I just cannot go for it. But if I really want to go out at night, I will have to be homebound for the day and conserve all my energy for the night. Some prioritizing is possible. Anyway I always feel better on the rest weeks, I should not complain!
To comfort myself, I get out my knitting needles and accomplish my little “works”. My recent stash ordered some months back which I collected in Michigan, have been sorted into several ziplocks with the patterns photocopied and placed in. So far I have crocheted a laptop sleeve with leftover yarns; finished a second glove, I did the first of the pair some months back; knitted a beret with intarsia design; and now on to a spunky pink cowl! The colour is bright enough to bring cheer to anyone, me included!
beretcowlWhen the year started, I was at my fifth week – the “good” weeks and I had thoughts of what I can be doing in 2012 but I soon realize any kind of routine has to fit into my 5 week cycle. It does get a bit complicated to make a right fit. I am asking myself, is there anything else I can do in addition to my knitting and crocheting ( it’s a lonely preoccupation)? I like to interact with people.
I just read Pat K’s post and he said this phrase “setting aside the emotional conflict” he moved on. He went through the auto transplant and is back to where he was before the transplant, imagine the tremendous frustration. Yet he is able to turn the page and move on. Yes, there is a whole lot of emotional conflicts to file away. Every now and then I also struggle to contain my emotional conflicts (though mine are no where near as tough as Pat’s or other mm-ers but nevertheless they are there for me to overcome ) These are my “down” days and then when I read such posts from Pat, I pluck up courage and get on with my life. Even with my mild maintenance regime, I still have my highs and lows.
Ahh… this is really a slow marathon. On a cheerier note, there are a few highlights I am looking forward to in March and April.