4 years and counting… still counting… will continue to count… never stop counting!

December 30, 2009
Is a day I will never, ever forget…
I have forgotten most of what was actually said that day…
That day I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma cancer
December 30, 2009, the day my life changed forever.

Lot’s of important words were spoken, but I heard very few of them
Jim heard very few of them
Mostly we heard: “I am so sorry… YOU HAVE CANCER”
Your bone marrow biopsy results were not good
The samples showed you have 67% Cancer

You have cancer… a blood cancer
Multiple (? what ?) Myeloma (? who ?)
In the bone marrow
In the blood plasma
High risk cancer
So sorry…

You need treatment immediately (seriously?)
Platelets, blood, dangerously low white count
Immune compromised (like bubble girl status?)
Prescriptions are ordered for you (like now? … like today?)
Tests, scans, bone marrow, blood samples, anemia, platelets, CBC’s, Immunoglobulins, M-protein
Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah
Multiple Myeloma (my new vocabulary word!)
Blood Cancer (no way… not me… I’m healthy, I’ve lived healthy, I did all the right things!)
Multiple Myeloma
Immune Compromised (huh?)
You are not well (I’ll just eat better… I promise!)
You need to be treated now (as in now? as in it’s almost New Year’s Eve !)
Immune system cancer (you cannot risk getting sick from others)

So sorry, my kind oncologist apologized
So sorry to spoil your holiday
So sorry your cancer is so serious
You have High Risk Multiple Myeloma Cancer (I’m too young… I have too much left to do!)
We are here if you need anything
Call us if you are not feeling well… go directly to Emergency… don’t wait…
Let’s get your medications ordered
Multiple Myeloma
Blood Cancer
Sick… need treatment now
Stem Cell Transplant
Multiple Myeloma
Blood Cancer

My head is spinning
This must be a mistake, my results surely were confused with someone else’s
I cry
I laugh
I say NO WAY, Not Me!
It’s all so surreal
Jim is very emotional, his eyes are teary
He is speechless, just nodding
I’m stunned, numb, having a true “out of body experience”
OMG I have to tell my family… I have to tell people, a lot of people… I, Julie the Invincible, has CANCER!
I cry
I laugh
I am numb

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Here we are back in 2009
when I had NO idea 
of the monster multiplying within me!
 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

December 30, 2013
Yep, cancer is real
Sadly, I now know what all those medical-cancer words mean
I get it… I Have Cancer
Incurable Cancer

But I am still here Myeloma!
4 years since that shocking, life altering conversation…
I made it 4 years since diagnosis!!

And you know what Myeloma??
I plan to be here for a long time!!
I plan to outlive you Myeloma!!!
My 2014 New Year’s Resolution is to outlive you Myeloma!

One sleepless night (which is really every night) I had a sudden thought…
I’ll go back to my pre-cancer, pre-Myeloma self-visual of being that little old carefree lady walking her little old pony down the road… thinking it’s a goat, or a chicken, or a dog, or a giraffe! 
I’m planning to be really, really old… again!
Yes! I am planning to live a long, long, long time!
Take that Myeloma!!!

That’s my 2014 New Year’s Resolution!
Happy, healthy, successful, playful, living life to the fullest, New Year to all of you!!