Same (Painful) Story, Different Day…

Hello 9.18.18

Seems like this month, all my important events and status reports fall just before or after my regular “On the 8’s” post dates.

I expect “Big” news on Monday Sept 24, my next Dr appt and Darzalex infusion day… as I should know the results of tomorrow’s MRI, and I suspect my IGA continues to climb,  even though I’ve gone back to doing Darza every other week. I can just “feel” when myeloma is “winning”… Pain is just such an awful reality reminder…

But for now, until I know What’s Really Going On… here’s my mini update-

Pain is my nightly visitor now. When the lovely weekly Dex steroids waned yesterday, as I suspected,… the evil, excruciating, vibrating, deep deep deep leg bone nerve muscle pain crept back in. Seriously! Just like the ocean tide. Rolls in, rolls out. Creeps in, creeps out… It’s crazy how predictable this has become now. Never had anything like this in my life! Imagine, at the end of your day, when you just want to RELAX and chill, read a book, watch TV or whatever your evening relaxation is… this maddening, incessant, deep ache invades, not allowing you to sit, lay down, relax. It’s almost like a “jack-hammer” drilling away, up and down my mid, and lower left side. And all this really began after my severe reaction to my first and ONLY Zometa infusion… hmmmm…connection??

So every night now, I begin my new ritual of OTC pain meds when I feel the ache cramping my leg, and left side. I start with low dose, then graduate up to a higher dose. If that doesn’t relieve the ever increasing pain, I add a muscle relaxant pill. A bit later I take my nightly Pomalyst pill, then as the pain pounds more deeply, I add another pain pill, then I slather on Bengay, or other supposed pain relieving cream. Lately, I’ve even tossed in one 4mg Dex steroid pill, hoping it’s magical anti inflammatory properties kick in, and give me relief. In between all this, I begin pacing, walking, shaking out, stretching out, pounding my left leg, in hope of relief and sleep. Finally, at some point, so exhausted, so beat up, so frustrated, so sad, so overwhelmed with my “realities”… I sleep. Eventually, at some time, early morning, the ache disappears, and I wake up as if this insanity never happened, with just a tiny dull ache remaining, as “night’s calling card”. As I write this, I have a smirk on my face of how crazy this is! I wish there were bruises on my leg to make this “visually real”, as it’s just so unbelievable!.

Until next time, here’s some of my favorite postcard sayings ~
I don’t Live in Fear,
but I Have Fears
Yes, I’m always analyzing what is
and what can be
My life is so very different than I thought it would be
But I am grateful to still be here
Most “hate” the “Dex-affect”
But I sure love it’s uplifting, anti inflammatory properties!
Just when I think I can’t,
I do!
Ah, yes… 
I wouldn’t go back, but I would like a cancer free body

Me, every other week on Darzalex days
Every day a new lesson,
a new challenge,
new solutions to accept
Breathing, yes, deep breathing is so important
and cleansing
Thank you for checking in and following my Myeloma journey. It’s never ending, full of surprises and unwanted realities, and keeps me thinking about life 24 7. 
May your life be joyful, fulfilling and you are doing what you can to make the most of your precious time on this beautiful earth!