Merry Christmas?

Not so much.  But let us walk down a nostalgic lane for about 2 minutes…

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Metaphorically… this elf is life telling me:  Take what’cher’ offered and the stairs climb up through religion telling me: we only get what we deserve, elf is lifeOh and ‘Shut it, kid’.  Me/Ralphie:  highly sensitive, deep thinking, spiritually unsettled kid with high hopes and dreams {still am}.  Santa was God or the Universe.   I felt that mastering self-discipline was the highest form of achievement.  If I could not control my passionate personality, I would find a way to use it to benefit others….fears, blind faith, and love lulled me into religious complacency intermixed with dramatic examples of God’s infinite power and grace.  (probably did not make a lot of sense, you can message me)d34cb1dcf31c15fcaa44bedebc31c91a--christmas-story-movie-christmas-story-quotes

Ralphie wanted this ONE thing…  I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle! Santa Claus: You’ll shoot your eye out, kid. Santa Claus: [Santa pushes Ralphie down the slide with his boot] Merry Christmas. Ho!Ho!Ho!   {slides down ‘dumb-founded’}

Back to reality, where WE wake up after Life kicks us in the head (we almost die a couple times)… And WE dig in, we pray, we hope, we want to Affirm our purposeful requests to this Creator of the Universe- But those requests or decisions we make, harm us, and Life kicks us – down the tunnel of life we slide – even farther behind than we started… ironically, the climb to the top starts all over.  *Classic Puns*

I have been out of touch with most people since October of this year.  This post may have sad undertones, but I am not completely sad, just not ‘feeling’ much Christmas Spirit this year.  I grieve for multiple things… and merely needed to punctuate how I felt this Christmas Eve-Eve, and how blessed I am to be in a position to look back at my life and for the painful process of becoming UnBreakable.  I am thankful for the inner strength to pick up and begin again, no matter how many times I need to.